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for Aortic Aneurysm

11/26/2006 c1 102Midnight In Eden
I really like this, the way it wraps up within itself at the end.

Formatting needs work but it's probably FP being stupid. If you want stanza breaks go to quick edit backspace all the breaks FP creates then enter in your own stanza breaks. I think it would help break up the piece a little. It would also highlight your punctuation and help the reader with the flow of the piece.

It's a bit all over the place in some bits and I think you might need to center your ideas a bit more. But other wise your use of language is very interesting, I love this idea of being "aware" of your aorta, a much better image than a simple heart.

Welcome back.

.:midnight:.

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