2/16/2005 c1 k-b-cook
Short and sweet and sad. Like a Precious Moments figurine. Well done.
Please return R&R if possible. Thanks!
Short and sweet and sad. Like a Precious Moments figurine. Well done.
Please return R&R if possible. Thanks!
12/24/2003 c1 LunaCaelum
Wow, that's a really good, powerfully emotion poem! I like it alot! Keep writing!
Wow, that's a really good, powerfully emotion poem! I like it alot! Keep writing!
12/22/2000 c1 8Crybaby
::a tear streams down her cheek:: this is so good. I'm sorry for you. Really. A little boy who went to my old school (he was in elementry,i went to middle this year) last year was murdered. He was in my sisters grade. I am really sorry. I wish I had words for the sorrow I feel for you...
::a tear streams down her cheek:: this is so good. I'm sorry for you. Really. A little boy who went to my old school (he was in elementry,i went to middle this year) last year was murdered. He was in my sisters grade. I am really sorry. I wish I had words for the sorrow I feel for you...
11/2/2000 c1 11KittyKMae
Ooh . . . pretty! Chilling! Deep! Cool! I like the way it's in the form of a wish (sort of) and . . . well, I can't figure out exactly what it is, but there's something neat about this poem. I like the ending espeshally.
Ooh . . . pretty! Chilling! Deep! Cool! I like the way it's in the form of a wish (sort of) and . . . well, I can't figure out exactly what it is, but there's something neat about this poem. I like the ending espeshally.
10/23/2000 c1 Earth Angel1
omg. its not even the best poem i ever read and i'm crying. is it true? if so, my sympathies. i know what it's like to lose.
omg. its not even the best poem i ever read and i'm crying. is it true? if so, my sympathies. i know what it's like to lose.
8/6/2000 c1 Akira Bane forgot again to sign in
I oved it it was quite sad had something like that happen to me almost a year ago , too .
I oved it it was quite sad had something like that happen to me almost a year ago , too .
8/5/2000 c1 12Kate Davis
Good topic and well covered, but your rhythm and rhyme are a little off. The last line is the most important and yours is a bit short to flow on well from the one preceding it. Something like “That she didn’t have to die” works better. Just being constructive – to convey what you feel in rhyme is hard and this is a commendable attempt.
Good topic and well covered, but your rhythm and rhyme are a little off. The last line is the most important and yours is a bit short to flow on well from the one preceding it. Something like “That she didn’t have to die” works better. Just being constructive – to convey what you feel in rhyme is hard and this is a commendable attempt.
7/26/2000 c1 Guest
Hmm...affecting, but rather clumsy and amateurish; the tenses switch around too much, for example...but I do like it.
Hmm...affecting, but rather clumsy and amateurish; the tenses switch around too much, for example...but I do like it.