for Fighting the Cancer11/15/2006 c1 
9Aluminum Tinkerbell
AH.
Kay, so, paragraphs. Please. It's great and all, but that wall of text scares me.
Right-o. Now to review. How mysterious! I wish it wasn't finished. Well, on second thought, it's good the way it is, too. Short-short stories rock as well.
Anyway, I like this! Thank god your character didn't pull a superhero stunt and get away like I was expecting. Characters keep doing those now a days.
"I tried to swallow the feeling but it would not go away." There should be a comma before the word 'but'. Commas before conjunctions. Most of the time. Grammer is so confusing, aye?
In conclusion- Great job, add paragraphs, please...
And, pretty please with sugar on top! continue some of your older stories, like 'Hand of the Shadow: Shandow' and 'The Dark Side of the Moon'.
'Symbols of the Forgotten' hasn't been updated since april. That's depressing. Give your older works some love.
9Aluminum TinkerbellAH.
Kay, so, paragraphs. Please. It's great and all, but that wall of text scares me.
Right-o. Now to review. How mysterious! I wish it wasn't finished. Well, on second thought, it's good the way it is, too. Short-short stories rock as well.
Anyway, I like this! Thank god your character didn't pull a superhero stunt and get away like I was expecting. Characters keep doing those now a days.
"I tried to swallow the feeling but it would not go away." There should be a comma before the word 'but'. Commas before conjunctions. Most of the time. Grammer is so confusing, aye?
In conclusion- Great job, add paragraphs, please...
And, pretty please with sugar on top! continue some of your older stories, like 'Hand of the Shadow: Shandow' and 'The Dark Side of the Moon'.
'Symbols of the Forgotten' hasn't been updated since april. That's depressing. Give your older works some love.