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12/4/2006 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
This is a fitting tribute for someone who meant a lot to you. However, I do think it loses focus throughout, because this seems to be a lot of random things pieced together that aren't really that important. While I understand that that's what memories are, this seems a bit wild. You do have some nice images throughout this, though, and you're good about using concrete visuals to really bring the poem to life, and specific ones at that. It could use a little polishing, but not bad. Keep writing! :)

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