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11/28/2006 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
This is nice. I love all the small details that make this poem - "mascara flaked tiredness" especially sticks out at me as a great visual to show just what she looks like during this struggle. I love the way you've started this, like there was something more before the poem itself. That's nice. "guilty fingerprints" is fantastic - I just really like that idea. And the paradox of having a "faithless face, sitting in the back room of a church hall" is just wonderful. Beautiful work. Keep writing! :)
11/28/2006 c1 28Deadtoast
Oh, very nice. Great words is great combinations.
11/28/2006 c1 5darknessblooms
"mascara flaked tiredness"

"untouched bottle of obliteration"

I love the imagery and interesting word pairings. Nicely done.

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