for Vanguard5/31/2010 c3 lijuan
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5/31/2010 c1 huimei
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welcome to our website is :
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5/24/2010 c1 eiyuang999
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7/1/2009 c1 Tawny Owl
Sorry to hear about your hiatus due to the real world catching up with you. Selfishly I’m sorry because I wanted the next chapter of Atelier. Heigh ho.
In the mean time…..
I’ve never written a manga story before, and haven’t consciously read one. That said, the way you started this with the sea, and then introducing the main character did remind me of the narrative of some of the anime films I’ve seen. The conversation between Kirans and George was bold, uncomplicated and light hearted which did contrast well to finding the boy in the Vanguard. After that the plot and the writing did seem to speed up a bit which is something that I’d associate with anime as well. Does that help any? I know you said it's kind of died a death, but you never know when you'll go back to old things.
Kirana does strike me as being a bit of a brat though, and I agree with George that she is going to be a handful when she grows up. Perversely I really like George as well. I think because I emphasised with him trying to do his job and be kind but still getting shot down in flames.
Couple of things - The clean-shaven man shook his head (no) fairly self explanatory.
youngest and only daughter Does this imply she has older brothers?
Sorry to hear about your hiatus due to the real world catching up with you. Selfishly I’m sorry because I wanted the next chapter of Atelier. Heigh ho.
In the mean time…..
I’ve never written a manga story before, and haven’t consciously read one. That said, the way you started this with the sea, and then introducing the main character did remind me of the narrative of some of the anime films I’ve seen. The conversation between Kirans and George was bold, uncomplicated and light hearted which did contrast well to finding the boy in the Vanguard. After that the plot and the writing did seem to speed up a bit which is something that I’d associate with anime as well. Does that help any? I know you said it's kind of died a death, but you never know when you'll go back to old things.
Kirana does strike me as being a bit of a brat though, and I agree with George that she is going to be a handful when she grows up. Perversely I really like George as well. I think because I emphasised with him trying to do his job and be kind but still getting shot down in flames.
Couple of things - The clean-shaven man shook his head (no) fairly self explanatory.
youngest and only daughter Does this imply she has older brothers?
3/10/2008 c1 
4Guardian's Light
Nice beginning. This is the first mecha story I found and I'm a big fan of the genre. Already I am interested in what else happens.
Guardian's Light
4Guardian's LightNice beginning. This is the first mecha story I found and I'm a big fan of the genre. Already I am interested in what else happens.
Guardian's Light
11/30/2007 c4 13KimHua
Other than the somewhat unexpected and uncomfortable sexual references, this is a good and exciting start to the story. I love "mecha" - specifically Battletech, which is the order of size of your Vanguards (70 tons) - so it's cool to read a story like yours.
You did well with the battle in terms of dramatic tension, but I was a little unsure how to visualise the melee weapons and such. It could do with a little more visual description, perhaps. And I certainly didn't expect such massive *humanoid* weapon platforms to be flying, perhaps because my only real experience with mecha is Battletech.
13KimHuaOther than the somewhat unexpected and uncomfortable sexual references, this is a good and exciting start to the story. I love "mecha" - specifically Battletech, which is the order of size of your Vanguards (70 tons) - so it's cool to read a story like yours.
You did well with the battle in terms of dramatic tension, but I was a little unsure how to visualise the melee weapons and such. It could do with a little more visual description, perhaps. And I certainly didn't expect such massive *humanoid* weapon platforms to be flying, perhaps because my only real experience with mecha is Battletech.
9/8/2007 c4 3Virage
Yay! I finally read this chapter, isn't it great! Not for you, I mean me. I've been wanting to read this for a while now, but I just let it collect electornic dust in my inbox. That aside, it was a great battle scene. I'm suprised at how long it was and yet, it was almost always action. Very little drag in the fighting except when narration had to be told between Kirana and Israel. The fight scenes were really cool, kinda hectic, but still really cool. And I like your personal touch on the different weapon, systems, and what not. I'm not a huge fan of Gundam, but I think I'll like this story alot. It reminds me of Pilot Candidate. Which I think I said before.
I think the writing in this chapter has improved alot. It wasn't confusing to me at all, and I think all the characters acted realistically and appropriately. The different voices and actions from the lesser known allies/enemies were fun to watch too. And the end, hah! Did Maddox really die! Well, he was a bit of an asshole, but he was their asshole. He'll be missed. At least he went with a bang. The Requiem thing looks badass. I've sorta got this image of the final boss of Lost Planet lol. Its beam saber arms were freaking intense. Crazy intense. Or maybe something from ZoE.
Okay, I'm done, I hope your style continues to improve and I really do think its getting better.
lftnc
3VirageYay! I finally read this chapter, isn't it great! Not for you, I mean me. I've been wanting to read this for a while now, but I just let it collect electornic dust in my inbox. That aside, it was a great battle scene. I'm suprised at how long it was and yet, it was almost always action. Very little drag in the fighting except when narration had to be told between Kirana and Israel. The fight scenes were really cool, kinda hectic, but still really cool. And I like your personal touch on the different weapon, systems, and what not. I'm not a huge fan of Gundam, but I think I'll like this story alot. It reminds me of Pilot Candidate. Which I think I said before.
I think the writing in this chapter has improved alot. It wasn't confusing to me at all, and I think all the characters acted realistically and appropriately. The different voices and actions from the lesser known allies/enemies were fun to watch too. And the end, hah! Did Maddox really die! Well, he was a bit of an asshole, but he was their asshole. He'll be missed. At least he went with a bang. The Requiem thing looks badass. I've sorta got this image of the final boss of Lost Planet lol. Its beam saber arms were freaking intense. Crazy intense. Or maybe something from ZoE.
Okay, I'm done, I hope your style continues to improve and I really do think its getting better.
lftnc
7/7/2007 c4 4Nolonegrusedaccount
Wow, you killed off one of the characters so early(this is early...isn't it? it's not halfway over, is it?). I really liked this chapter, and the mecha action is nice. Isreal...has a nice ring to it! Cannot think of any thing else to say except that I hope you don't Hideaki Anno this story and make a quick exit with the ending, because that would suck!
Here's hoping the next chapter is just as good.
See ya!
4NolonegrusedaccountWow, you killed off one of the characters so early(this is early...isn't it? it's not halfway over, is it?). I really liked this chapter, and the mecha action is nice. Isreal...has a nice ring to it! Cannot think of any thing else to say except that I hope you don't Hideaki Anno this story and make a quick exit with the ending, because that would suck!
Here's hoping the next chapter is just as good.
See ya!
6/30/2007 c4 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
YES! YES! FINALLY! I waited long enough! I look forward to Deathscrye, but dude, you gotta write this story too! I love this story as well! And Maddox deserves his death. HA HA! I hated him. Great that he died. Finally!
1Tomoyuki TanakaYES! YES! FINALLY! I waited long enough! I look forward to Deathscrye, but dude, you gotta write this story too! I love this story as well! And Maddox deserves his death. HA HA! I hated him. Great that he died. Finally!
6/26/2007 c4 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Ok, here I am again lol! XD Anyway, I'll have to say that you really did well with the whole Mecha action stuff. I don't think I'll be able to do that partially because I've never got any idea on how to start it lol! :D Anyway, I really wonder about the name Israel in this chapter. Does it mean anything or is it just a case of coincidence in a sense that this name was actually the Mid-East nation's name? And yeah, I'm actually thinking about where he allegiance lies as well... okay, I guess I'll stop for now. Freakin' 5+ in the morning now... anyway, hope to see you update soon! Bye! :)
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuOk, here I am again lol! XD Anyway, I'll have to say that you really did well with the whole Mecha action stuff. I don't think I'll be able to do that partially because I've never got any idea on how to start it lol! :D Anyway, I really wonder about the name Israel in this chapter. Does it mean anything or is it just a case of coincidence in a sense that this name was actually the Mid-East nation's name? And yeah, I'm actually thinking about where he allegiance lies as well... okay, I guess I'll stop for now. Freakin' 5+ in the morning now... anyway, hope to see you update soon! Bye! :)
2/23/2007 c3 7Happy Pappy
Great update and I'm glad to see that the story is moving forward. Your chapters are a perfect length and you seem to be exploring your characters even more. I told you before that I loved the Nikita-Kirana relationship in that Nikita seems like almost a older sister-ish person and I'm glad you're exploring Apollo some more as he seems to have a lot of potential.
Of course, you gotta end on a hanger although I think I can assume who the silver-haired male is. At least, a basic idea of his and Kirana's past.
Overall, awesome and update soon! I love this story.
7Happy PappyGreat update and I'm glad to see that the story is moving forward. Your chapters are a perfect length and you seem to be exploring your characters even more. I told you before that I loved the Nikita-Kirana relationship in that Nikita seems like almost a older sister-ish person and I'm glad you're exploring Apollo some more as he seems to have a lot of potential.
Of course, you gotta end on a hanger although I think I can assume who the silver-haired male is. At least, a basic idea of his and Kirana's past.
Overall, awesome and update soon! I love this story.
1/15/2007 c3 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Great story. Really, really great story, though I still prefer Crimson. Anyway, I need your help with Basilisk: A New Dawn. I've just updated a week ago (but still no reviews), so please read the new chapters and sent me a review telling me your opinions (I've a question in the last chapter and I would really appreciate it if you could answer it.) Thanks a lot! I might help you write a chapter for this story...coz I'm a fan of Gundam Seed Destiny! You did watch Destiny, right? It's the sequel to Gundam Seed.
1Tomoyuki TanakaGreat story. Really, really great story, though I still prefer Crimson. Anyway, I need your help with Basilisk: A New Dawn. I've just updated a week ago (but still no reviews), so please read the new chapters and sent me a review telling me your opinions (I've a question in the last chapter and I would really appreciate it if you could answer it.) Thanks a lot! I might help you write a chapter for this story...coz I'm a fan of Gundam Seed Destiny! You did watch Destiny, right? It's the sequel to Gundam Seed.
1/7/2007 c3 CoffeexXxBlood
Hi! Oh a cliffhanger! I like cliffhangers... somewhat hmm... they're good and bad... so that makes them gad. Ok, cliffhangers are very gad! Sorry i havn't reviewed in a while my computer got messed up and it wouldn't let me get on the internet much less fictionpress. I loved the mayhem in this chapter and Kiriana's reaction to war and killing made her a much more belivable character. I like the fighting scenes with Kiriana and Nikita I act alot like that with my friends so they really made me laugh. What happened to George? Is he gone from the series? He would make for some hilarious scenes in later chapters. You must like characters with silver hair because you have Lucifer in Crimson with silver hair and now this guy also with silver hair. But anyways he seems like a cool character I take it hes on Kirianas side or he wouldn't have saved her right? Oh and i have a story up now i don't think its very good but the idea of the story has been eating at my brain and i just said 'what the hell?' and put it up. Okay enough ramblings. Bye.
Lethal Dosage
Hi! Oh a cliffhanger! I like cliffhangers... somewhat hmm... they're good and bad... so that makes them gad. Ok, cliffhangers are very gad! Sorry i havn't reviewed in a while my computer got messed up and it wouldn't let me get on the internet much less fictionpress. I loved the mayhem in this chapter and Kiriana's reaction to war and killing made her a much more belivable character. I like the fighting scenes with Kiriana and Nikita I act alot like that with my friends so they really made me laugh. What happened to George? Is he gone from the series? He would make for some hilarious scenes in later chapters. You must like characters with silver hair because you have Lucifer in Crimson with silver hair and now this guy also with silver hair. But anyways he seems like a cool character I take it hes on Kirianas side or he wouldn't have saved her right? Oh and i have a story up now i don't think its very good but the idea of the story has been eating at my brain and i just said 'what the hell?' and put it up. Okay enough ramblings. Bye.
Lethal Dosage
1/6/2007 c3 4Nolonegrusedaccount
Okay; as for the thing about eighteen-ton shells...maybe, if they were made of depleted uranium. However, as for the rest of the story? Perfect, alittle too good if you ask me! I love the ideas you have here, and the characters are good as well.
(I am lovin' that Yuri! I'm surprised at his comment on Apollo's choice, as most higher-ups don't really strike me as those types that actually behave in a more human manner)
I can't wait to see the next chapter(I know...I say that all the time) and I'm wondering just what this reunion will bring for Kirana!
Well, see ya!
4NolonegrusedaccountOkay; as for the thing about eighteen-ton shells...maybe, if they were made of depleted uranium. However, as for the rest of the story? Perfect, alittle too good if you ask me! I love the ideas you have here, and the characters are good as well.
(I am lovin' that Yuri! I'm surprised at his comment on Apollo's choice, as most higher-ups don't really strike me as those types that actually behave in a more human manner)
I can't wait to see the next chapter(I know...I say that all the time) and I'm wondering just what this reunion will bring for Kirana!
Well, see ya!