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9/15/2012 c43 jurjid
Very good. You did the romance thing with Ladon/Tess very well. Most writers do romance with a ridiculous lack of conflict or at a time in the story where it makes little sense. Good job!
9/13/2012 c37 Guest
There's a problem. You seem to be caving to the reviewers by changing Ladon's personality. In the beginning of the story, Ladon was reclusive and rude. Now he is some kind of social, emotional, almost open dragon. If this is useful to the story, this is fine, but don't ignore your plans based on how loud a few reviewers are.
9/8/2012 c19 jurjid
Wow, was not expecting that. You are obviously very creative.
9/7/2012 c3 jurjid
very good setup. The characters' psychology is done well, and the suspense is well done.
6/9/2011 c43 anony-mouse
Hello, I just spent two days reading this amazing piece of fiction. When I realized it was a story of three books I was excited. I figured 43 chapters were a decent amount for them, especially with how long they were. I was wrong. Did you even manage to finish the second book? It doesn't seem like it

I really hope that you're just taking a break, but the abrupt end confuses me. It seems like you had everything planned out, if not written already. You gave no clues that you're getting tired and when you just stop you gave no explanation.

It's been 3 years so I don't have high hopes that you'll finish it, but really, next time give a girl a little warning.
12/7/2010 c43 9DarkNight77
12/2/2010 c22 DarkNight77
I have to say, Tess's character has really come into her own and blossomed. By this point in the story I would say she's becoming very mature, but the hint of childish whimsey and playfulness is very refreshing. Ladon is, I have to say, my favorite character. So I'm quite interested to see how this story goes!
9/19/2009 c42 kingdomfantasyanime453
good old memories :D

i love this story, it was one of my very stories i read in this site :D

i really hope you update soon i miss this story so much
6/9/2009 c2 sus
I had to pause in the middle of chapter two when I came to this paragraph:

"The villagers stared in wonder as the small girl began to cry, quietly at first, but soon the sobs shook her body. Her features so features so perfectly reflected sadness that everyone else felt a new pang of grief on her behalf. Lucius sat down and took his daughter into his arms as she cried. When her tears died down, she sat beside him, face blank and doll like again. The coffin closed and he drew a sharp breath. He would never see his wife again from that day forward, only the echoes of her in his daughter."

The first sentence in particular is like trecle, and while your writing isn't always so sickly sweet, it would be good to steer away from that entirely. It makes no sense that the villagers would be "in wonder" or otherwise surprised that a girl should cry over her mother's death. She's realy pretty, we get it, but having her perfectly perfect face be perfectly sad is excessive and, at best, says you think your reader didn't believe you the first half-dozen times you mentioned how beautiful Tess is.

Description is great, but telling us over and over the same thing with different words doesn't help the story along. And you do have a good start of a story, which is why it would be such a shame to have Tess turn out to be a Mary Sue (martyr variant).

How about:

"The villagers sat in silence, shifting uncomfortably in their seats as Tess lingered at the coffin and began to cry. She quickly went from sniffles to sobs that echoed in the meeting hall, which moved a few people to begin tearing up anew. Lucius brought Tess back to their seats and held her for a few minutes until her tears subsided and she abruptly returned to sitting upright, blank-faced as she had been since Meredith passed in the night. He drew a sharp breath as one of the elders closed the coffin— it was the last time he would ever see his wife outside of what was echoed in Tess."

It's not the best example, but it plays less on the villagers who have grown up with Tess being universally moved by her beauty and uses actions to portray the shared grief without totally eviscerating the style up until that point.
3/8/2009 c43 toxic-noodle725
hello, i know its been awhile since ive reviewed. I disappeared off of fictionpress (college can do that to ya) and i just returned and i seemed to remember about a story bout a dragon and a female knight and i gasped! lol. i see its been quite some time since u updated...im all caught up now with the story and i once again must remind u that...we're waiting for the next chapter!

pairings? goldie-blue

peepsie-ponnochio (?)


tess n landon (obviously)

are we gonna see ona and favien again in this story?

anyway update already!

-The Noodle ^_^
2/19/2009 c26 7Ayla Gray
this was so good
12/31/2008 c43 Toomuchtimeonmyhands
Your story is wonderful! I love how you've put such a spin on all the fairy tails. It's very imaginative, and it's great how you haven't just jumped into the romance like many writers would do. Great writing :)
11/26/2008 c32 Nargus
O the sleeping beauty and the fight against the dragon in the center of the dark forest...me like! :D
11/26/2008 c25 Nargus
O...warrior princess Snow White who face huge spiders all by herself...they reminded me of Aragog from the Lord of the Rings, you know. The one that was feared all over Gondor... *chuckles*

And ohh...the evil queen suddenly sound pretty to me o..o I must be quite twisted myself o..o
11/26/2008 c23 Nargus
ROFL! I knew you like to bunch up regular fairy tales together, but the Snow White! LOL! And you realized the sevens dwarves too! Ohh...this will get interesting...
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