for The Beginning of the End3/2/2007 c5 Brittany
goldlocks!
goldlocks!
3/2/2007 c4 Brittanyy
O
muscle head?
O
muscle head?
3/2/2007 c3 OOOO
O
O
2/23/2007 c27 quwira
omg this story is so so so so so so so so so good!...rei did go a bit insane at the end didnt she?
omg this story is so so so so so so so so so good!...rei did go a bit insane at the end didnt she?
2/18/2007 c1 me
suspicious
suspicious
1/27/2007 c27 
5Herineca
aw...poor Rei. i really liked this story. ... you wrote it really well. and the ending was great(save the fact she died) but still, great way to finish
5Herinecaaw...poor Rei. i really liked this story. ... you wrote it really well. and the ending was great(save the fact she died) but still, great way to finish
1/16/2007 c26 8Wandering Oblivion
*sigh* wow... now that is an emotional chapter...kinda sad yet insane at the same time. Rei seems to be quite a character considering what she has been thru...
check ya later,
Wayne
8Wandering Oblivion*sigh* wow... now that is an emotional chapter...kinda sad yet insane at the same time. Rei seems to be quite a character considering what she has been thru...
check ya later,
Wayne
1/8/2007 c25 Wandering Oblivion
now that guy is a jerk...gives all other guys a bad freaking name...damn..it *sigh* anyways... that is stupid, how Zack is and how Rei is acting but hey.. it might change but i guess things dont always turn out the way you want them...
check ya later,
Wayne
now that guy is a jerk...gives all other guys a bad freaking name...damn..it *sigh* anyways... that is stupid, how Zack is and how Rei is acting but hey.. it might change but i guess things dont always turn out the way you want them...
check ya later,
Wayne
1/2/2007 c24 Wandering Oblivion
well here is a review for chapters 23 and 24: Great job love to see that the reunion is back and also..cant wait to see what happens between Rei and Zack *silent thinking* ohh well guess i have to wait...just watch the sentences...some are missing or have an extra word in them...other then that great,
Check ya later,
Wayne (Enyaw)
well here is a review for chapters 23 and 24: Great job love to see that the reunion is back and also..cant wait to see what happens between Rei and Zack *silent thinking* ohh well guess i have to wait...just watch the sentences...some are missing or have an extra word in them...other then that great,
Check ya later,
Wayne (Enyaw)
12/21/2006 c22 Wandering Oblivion
wow.. now that is quite a change of pace, her sister is back and now her life is goin for the best but i wonder if there is goin to be twist to it. Well that is hell for you...i dont think anyone should have to go thru..*sighs*
Check ya later,
Wayne (Enyaw)
wow.. now that is quite a change of pace, her sister is back and now her life is goin for the best but i wonder if there is goin to be twist to it. Well that is hell for you...i dont think anyone should have to go thru..*sighs*
Check ya later,
Wayne (Enyaw)
12/16/2006 c21 Wandering Oblivion
HOLY CRAP!...wow.. now the question is why did he flip...now she hates Rob.. I see why...yet it seems not right...but wow that is quite interesting to find out some more of the lies that is now that truth...i am kind of speechless about the whole Mike being killed.. i am glad he is but it didnt seem like Rei had it in her...but i guess it seems to happen b/c of everything that is happened..anyways.. i could continue but i think i can send a reply...
check ya later,
Wayne
HOLY CRAP!...wow.. now the question is why did he flip...now she hates Rob.. I see why...yet it seems not right...but wow that is quite interesting to find out some more of the lies that is now that truth...i am kind of speechless about the whole Mike being killed.. i am glad he is but it didnt seem like Rei had it in her...but i guess it seems to happen b/c of everything that is happened..anyways.. i could continue but i think i can send a reply...
check ya later,
Wayne
12/15/2006 c5 5Soccer Dude
All right, I gave it an honest try, but all I can offer is some constructive criticism.
First, the plot. Where is this story going? It feels like one episode of violence after another, like you're just pushing the boundaries of how much you can torture this character. Also, the idea of an organization (?) kidnapping and disciplining teenage girls is a little too out there for anyone's suspension of disbelief. Perhaps if Stillson was a crazed hermit with an elaborate plan of "helping" Rei in his own twisted way, it'd be a little more interesting (like Jigsaw from the Saw movies, something along those lines)
Second, mechanics. Everything is put bluntly, which makes it harder to read. Some of Rei's POV rants are good. Try to write... fluidly.
Third, grammar. Just open up any novel in the bookstore. That's all I'm going to say.
5Soccer DudeAll right, I gave it an honest try, but all I can offer is some constructive criticism.
First, the plot. Where is this story going? It feels like one episode of violence after another, like you're just pushing the boundaries of how much you can torture this character. Also, the idea of an organization (?) kidnapping and disciplining teenage girls is a little too out there for anyone's suspension of disbelief. Perhaps if Stillson was a crazed hermit with an elaborate plan of "helping" Rei in his own twisted way, it'd be a little more interesting (like Jigsaw from the Saw movies, something along those lines)
Second, mechanics. Everything is put bluntly, which makes it harder to read. Some of Rei's POV rants are good. Try to write... fluidly.
Third, grammar. Just open up any novel in the bookstore. That's all I'm going to say.