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for Tsubasa Revolution

11/20/2011 c1 Only an old bard
Ah...What command over the language! Splendid, splendid. I see that you have spent a lot of time developing the Tsubasa universe, and I respect that a lot. The only criticism I have for you is that it seems a little broken up, with the number of paragraphs you have- but masterfully crafted. Well done!
4/9/2010 c1 5brittle hearts
Thoroughly researched and beautifully written.
2/15/2007 c1 1snowydawn
Wow. You've really created your own universe here. I read Tsubasa Redux and this is equally well done. Actually your Tsubasa stories show you have a big imagination and your stories about this world you've made up are really incredible in detail. I don't think I could handle a mass story like this. It's amazing how they connect. Great work!

Oh yeah, I finaly updated Witch Robot Hisaki if you're interested.

1/30/2007 c1 1Yaminah

hey i can't say anything. let's say the fic just revived an emotional graveyard. It's been long since i've read a one shot this tragic. And your talent of builbing up of plot keeps on getting better. I liked the foreshadowing (the "tell them I died") at the earlier part of the work - it adds highlight to the character of the hero and at the same time tells something about the totallity.

you're still on of the best writers that i've met
1/21/2007 c1 56felicia13
Oh. My. God.

That was amazing. Wow. That sent shivers up and down my spine. Just ... breathtaking. I suppose you really do honestly have a way with words. Wow.

The ending was so powerful! Maybe all that stuff at the beginning wasn't necessary, but ... right about the middle, it got so exciting. I have a problem with endings. I spend a lot of time getting up to the climax and then it can never hold up to the expectation after having waited so long for it. You, however, can take one's expectations and destroy them with a paper shredder. It's absolutely amazing, this "short" story.

Thanks for the info at the bottom. It helps to understand the background of the story a bit more. Honestly, it's not necessary, but it makes it so much impressive to read the story. You obviously have an incredibly detailed knowledge of this world you've made. It's quite amazing, really.

1/12/2007 c1 7Noihseret
this was one of the most breath-taking, beautiful things I have ever read! the first paragraph was amazingly writen and the whole story was a work of art, too! this is defietly going to my favourites list ^^
1/8/2007 c1 8ainedamdz
'Elo! I finally finished reading this one. Good thing I didn't have class today.

Anyway... Wow. That's all I can say after reading this story of yours which you did only in one sitting. Wow. You must have been very very VERY inspired. You got me, man. I admit na medyo napaiyak ako (lol, ang sakit ng radiation ng screen) and you've created a very good atmosphere in the first part. It kind of draws the reader into the actual scene.

Although I really don't like bittersweet endings, I believe this is one tragic love story which I can recommend to my friends. And, as usual, the only flaw (for me, anyway) that I found in the whole lot was the fact that you used much too sophisticated words! On the whole, this seems to be a story written for the enjoyment of adults or teenagers 18+. In my opinion, anyway.

But still. Good job, mate! You could be the next J.R.R. Tolkien with these fantasy fics you're making. On second thought, no, you've still got a long way to go before you can compare to his LOTR series. XD

This one's a start, though.

Also, the last sentence reminds me of a WarCraft fanfic I read a long time ago...

So! Keep up the good work and good luck! ^_^
1/2/2007 c1 25Bitter Irony
Hello, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all in one!

~First sentence was too long-could be cut in half. Nice exposition on the invasion, though: fit in smoothly with the action

~"waiting for a fate she knew naught of yet" When in doubt, use modern English. "Naught" sounds melodramatic.

~"of which Mother Mercy carried a part of." Unneccesary and repetitive-quite a few of these sentences could have been cut down or cut out entirely.

~"even the only thing with which he responded to only meant “Death’s Own”." See above. I like that Shino has no real name, though, and the account of his various crimes: it adds even more mystery to an already mysterious person.

~"where they were in" awkward construction

~Nice portrayal of pre-battle nerves: also, good clear description of the battle itself

~"As he stood dripping on the sand wet with both water and blood a lieutenant, with a snarling demon mempo, or helm-mask, and a square banner attached to his shoulder approached him and saluted." This sentence is almost a run-on: decide which description is most important to keep and let the rest go

~"two riders erupted in a fountain of blood, their horses becoming wild with the scent of blood" Repeat of the word "blood"

~The twist was very unexpected, very powerful.

The whole story was very beautifully written. I'm sure I'll be thinking about it long after I close out of this window!

~Bitter Irony
12/28/2006 c1 50Kristina Suko
That was amazing! That's all I have to say. It was amazing. The best you've ever written.

12/16/2006 c1 7Maiya
Yay, I'm glad to see this up finally. :D Although this is probably the third or fourth or fifth (er, I can't remember how many exactly) time that I've read this, I still feel an intense impact from it. It's sad and very tragic, yes, but in a way these two lovers-Shino and Rei-were blessed. Blessed because their love was immortalized, very much kept alive generation after generation.

I know this has nothing to do with the story, but hey what the heck, since I'm in the topic anyways. :D

The word "love" is simple. In fact it is so simple that it is spelled with only four letters and pronounced in only one syllable. But the feeling attached with it is the one which makes it truly powerful. It is this feeling which allows a normally logical and rational person to divert from his/her usual ways-to think irrationally, to do things illogically. It is this same feeling which allows a normally selfish person to become selfless-to sacrifice his/her own happiness for the sake of his/her loved one. And I'm not only talking of romantic love-it also applies to parental, filial, and the friendship kind of love.

But what is truly amazing about this feeling is its ability to influence a person's state of being. A person deeply in love can either feel intense happiness or intense pain, or sometimes even both. Of course the target feeling is definitely the happiness bit, but unfortunately, more often than not, the chances of that happening is lower than that of the other two choices. 10%, 1%, or even 0.1%. So why do people still risk falling in love? Why be in love when one is more likely to get hurt?

Because the happiness that comes from love is a more intense and pleasurable feeling. Once a person attains that feeling it overrides any kind of sorrow and pain, and it overrides any kind of sacrifice made. As the famous saying goes, "It Feels Like Heaven".

Compared to the more than 100 times intense happiness one feels when that love is returned, the 10%, 1%, or 0.1% probability is immaterial.

This feeling is the reason people risk the pain, risk the sorrow, and risk the sacrifice.

This is the reason people allow themselves to feel...to fall...in what is known to the world as the simple four-letter, one-syllable word that is love.

The season of Christmas is perhaps the best time to show, to feel and to give love. But of course, I hope that this feeling will not be confined to this season, but instead will continue on to the next seasons to come.

Indeed I am honored to take part as beta-reader of this piece. Thank you, Diamond Dust for this opportunity. I'm looking forward to working with you in the future. Keep on writing!

A Blessed Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to one and all! :D
12/15/2006 c1 1JJSLAM2129
*sigh* What can I say? Wonderful job. Odd as it sounds, this story reminds me of one I'm currently writing, although with a little less killing and fighting and the like.

I have but one discrepancy with this. From a personal perspective, I find it a bit unbelievable that Shino is telling the story while they're fighting. Well, unbelieveable might not be the best choice for words. What I mean is, unless something /within/ the fighting advances the plot, the fight scene just becomes a fight scene and loses its purpose. I understand the idea, that he dies and the two are separated again. Because it's so heavily melodramatic, however, I just find myself skiping over the text that describes them fighting. Does that make much sense?

Despite this descrepancy, it's beautifully written. A little sad, but very passionate, a good way to start the winter season. But wait, does this mean you won't be writing anything till the new year? Oh, the humanity!

Keep on writing, DD! ( :: )
12/15/2006 c1 19DaCivilWarBear
Oh...! Ahh...! Wow! Brilliantly written, and not many grammatical/syntax errors! I applaud you. You use the pen as a mighty sword, indeed, and you describe not to the point of excess, but just enough. Once again, fantastic job.

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