for heartstrings7/20/2009 c1 
1tonight we bloom
you have a brilliant writing style that will never cease to amaze me.
it's awe-inspiring, what you can do with your words.
once again, and excellent piece.
1tonight we bloomyou have a brilliant writing style that will never cease to amaze me.
it's awe-inspiring, what you can do with your words.
once again, and excellent piece.
1/13/2007 c1 144chaos called creation
it starts off almost as a light analogy, great contrast to a great ending.
144chaos called creationit starts off almost as a light analogy, great contrast to a great ending.
12/18/2006 c1 63lackluster
"I’m going to lose you to the breeze of the dandelion fluff/in the backyard."
63lackluster"I’m going to lose you to the breeze of the dandelion fluff/in the backyard."
12/16/2006 c1 78acrobia
Like a lover, this poem is fantastic. I love the way you repeat the first line, "your heartstrings are snapping like vines" and all the references to nature - they are clever and beautiful. Lovely imagery and word choice. My favourite line is
"you’re a crazy flower in mom’s garden
purple hairy leaves, dead bees
and I’m scared silently"
Although it makes me wonder, did you mean "I'm scared silent"? I feel that if you use silent instead of silently it will be more powerful, but the way you have it is beautiful too.
Keep up the good work,
- Acrobia
78acrobiaLike a lover, this poem is fantastic. I love the way you repeat the first line, "your heartstrings are snapping like vines" and all the references to nature - they are clever and beautiful. Lovely imagery and word choice. My favourite line is
"you’re a crazy flower in mom’s garden
purple hairy leaves, dead bees
and I’m scared silently"
Although it makes me wonder, did you mean "I'm scared silent"? I feel that if you use silent instead of silently it will be more powerful, but the way you have it is beautiful too.
Keep up the good work,
- Acrobia