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3/8/2010 c1 faiswingedchronicles
tricky bastard how did he do that? jez

I do like how you used your words.

"you" "Lone souls"
1/15/2007 c1 32eldrin
What a magnificent piece...an interesting glimpse into a (perhaps obsessed?) mind. I love how all the necessary details are only hinted at and the past, and apparent drugging are never stated directly. What need would the narrator have for stating explicitly those things which he already knows? Brilliant that the story kept me guessing until the end, how everything is revealed in gentle layers. Great work.
12/25/2006 c1 8failte200
Hm... and that's it?

Well-written, although starting off with second-person was a little off-putting, until the first-person came up, so that we could TELL it wasn't going to ALL be in second-person.

I take it "I" drugged "you", although "you" seemed to be pretty bad off to start with. Also - when did "I" find out "your" name was Grant? Do we know each other from before? Not clear.

So your style is flowing and easy to read, and the technical details (spacing, spelling, etc) are perfect (except I think you probably meant "companionable" instead of "companionably"), but if you're going to write short stuff (which is good, I seldom read stuff as long as I write), you really have to pay attention to filling in the reader with everything he/she needs to know. :) Short stories are actually HARDER than long ones.

On to your others!
12/25/2006 c1 Red Rose
OMG is he going to rape the guy? O_o (not that I care, because the story is good, and evil twists are better ^^)

Anyhow, I really liked this piece of writing ^^ The characters and his longing got through well, and I can't help but wonder, will something *cough* -illegal- take place now, seeing how the man is drugged and all?

Or will he play hero by showing how well he took care of him so they can spend more time together? I'm leaning towards the first though. I mean, the guy has to dislike the bloke for some reason, right? ...Right. ^^

Anyhow, well done! And poor Grant. He must be really poor T_T

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