Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for calling you, my comfort zone

2/16/2007 c1 16Melos Atriensis
Oh, this is very nice. The visuals of sadness leaking through fingertips is really vivid, and really cool.

Capitalization would have been nice, but I guess it's safe to assume you prefer the poem in lower case. I'm not sure I like the "Jesus is the reason for the season" line. It kind of interrupts the flow of the poem, and it loses momentum.

Oh, I like the parenthese around the line: (it's something that i can't quite explain). I'm not sure why I like this line so much, but it's very relatable.

Good job, keep writing!

.:Scarlett:.
1/16/2007 c1 144chaos called creation
third stanza is a scene stealer.
1/10/2007 c1 63lackluster
this made me smile. it's really warm and wholesome, if a poem can be warm and wholesome.

i love this stanza:

"sadness leaks through my fingertips/and onto the porch/exiting my body as the/warmth makes its way in."

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service