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1/16/2007 c1 144chaos called creation
I liked the little rhyme you had going in the beginning, but it kind of lost its way towards the end. Almost a cheeky tone to it which makes it so endearing.
1/8/2007 c1 24heroin zombie
Just some things.

Why is there a slash after penpal?

The rhythm died at the end.

I liked it.

The last stanza seems unnecessary. It feels like you've already said everything you need to say to get across your idea. But that's just a personal opinion.

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