for what's on your mind?2/16/2007 c1 
16Melos Atriensis
Oh, I like! The 'irony' line is very cool, and the ending line was very necessary for the poem. It's short, but they don't really have to be long. I'm not sure I like the '&' bits, though... I guess that's personal.
But yes, I quite like this piece. I really like how you've used the piano, and that 'irony' line fits perfectly!
Keep writing
.:Scarlett:.
16Melos AtriensisOh, I like! The 'irony' line is very cool, and the ending line was very necessary for the poem. It's short, but they don't really have to be long. I'm not sure I like the '&' bits, though... I guess that's personal.
But yes, I quite like this piece. I really like how you've used the piano, and that 'irony' line fits perfectly!
Keep writing
.:Scarlett:.
1/16/2007 c1 144chaos called creation
Definitely not what I expected, but I really liked the irony line and the fact that you mentioned the piano, haha. The poem itself makes me think of a slow crescendo.
I agree with your summary.
144chaos called creationDefinitely not what I expected, but I really liked the irony line and the fact that you mentioned the piano, haha. The poem itself makes me think of a slow crescendo.
I agree with your summary.
12/24/2006 c1 34Protege
hey there!
the words on this flow quite nicely, but it suffers. A cliche: ebony and ivory. avoid cliches, they show little creativity unless you warp them. then there's the softness of this: racing, and then calming... it's not very dramatic. it seems like a tiny minor thing, when I don't think that's what you're getting at.
don't think I don't like it. it just needs to be kicked up a notch.
-protege
34Protegehey there!
the words on this flow quite nicely, but it suffers. A cliche: ebony and ivory. avoid cliches, they show little creativity unless you warp them. then there's the softness of this: racing, and then calming... it's not very dramatic. it seems like a tiny minor thing, when I don't think that's what you're getting at.
don't think I don't like it. it just needs to be kicked up a notch.
-protege