3/13/2008 c25 2Jessica Renee
I can't remember if I reviewed the last chapter or not (I'm leaning towards not since I usually forget to review), so I'm going to comment on both.

I like that Daphne is trying to make it up to her friends (at least Flo). I think in order to do it, she needs to be one hundred percent honest with them. There's too much lying and going around other people's backs that it's driving me crazy (in a good and bady way).

Honestly, I can understand why Flo is mad (I would be too), but I think Jia is overreacting. She rejected Martin, so she doesn't really have a right to be mad. And Daphne isn't a mind reader. She can't expect Daphne to automatically know when I am pretty sure Jia can't tell that Daphne likes Sevin. It goes both ways. And even after all that, she STILL rejected Martin. I'm not a very big fan of Jia right now. Yes, I think she has a right to be mad (not only for herself, but for Flo as well), but she's taking it too far. I think they should at least hear fully hear Daphne out instead of just shutting her out.

And I loved the fight between Daphne and Sevin that led up to the kiss. It really was the perfect way to do it. Sevin did make it obvious that he liked her, but at the same time, when she asked him if she did, he said no. He can't blame her for being so confused. He really did give her mixed signals. I don't blame her for being so confused over her feelings for Sevin, Ryan, etc.

I feel really bad for Sevin in this chapter. I mean, yes, I understand why Daphne did what she did (it makes her very human, by the way), but I think she's being a little self-centered when she expected Sevin to instantly be okay with being just friends. He pretty much poured his heart out to her. He told her that he was afraid of being rejected again. I think it hurt because because he told her this and then SHE kissed him only to reject him afterwards. He got his worst fear. And it was even worse because she knew his feelings and didn't really consider them. Daphne is trying to look out for Flo's best interest and she's trying not to make things too complicated, but I think even with her best intentions, she's just making everything more complicated. I still think she has a bit of growing to do, which I can tell you're leading to with this chapter.

I really love the character growth. I just wish Daphne had said a little more than, "I don't feel that way about you." Sevin didn't ask anything about that, but really, would would question someone rejecting you? But we all have those moments where we don't exactly say what we want to say or what maybe we should have said. We regret those things later and in real life, every moment isn't perfect. And that's why I really like this story - you made Daphne into a real person who screws up a lot like everyone else does.

I feel like this is getting too long, so I'll make my last few comments brief. I also loved Daphne's visit to the therapist. It is very true. She's open with her therapist, but not with anyone else. Not even her two best friends. I don't think things will be okay again until she learns to be honest with herself and others.

And I LOVED the last scene between Daphne and Zander. I loved that she poured coffee over his head. I loved that she stood for Flo. And I absolutely loved that she called him a whore. It was perfect. I hope Sevin, Flo, Jia, etc. hear about that. I really do. And I also loved the last part of the chapter - "at least I had showed one jerkface asshole that Daphne Willows was no fucking Disney princess." It was great, really. =)

Anywya, I hope you update soon!

3/13/2008 c1 Inanna
Wow, this story is amazing. I would keep reading now, but it's 5:30 in the am, and I need sleep. But wow.

3/9/2008 c24 24DancingChaChaFruit
Oh my gosh, I can't believe I haven't been reviewing until now. I don't know, I'll mean to do it and then forget and then be busy and then forget some more or something. Seriously, I forget things WAY too easily. Like when friends call me or when I need to bring people things. (Which, crap, just reminded me that I was supposed to bring my friend a book on Friday night. Crap, crap, crap. She reminded me like a zillion times, too. I'm surprised she didn't mention it.)

Anyway. I melted when I read this chapter. Daphne's been having so much crap (I use that word too much, I think) going on in her life, what with her best friends mad at her and such. I felt bad for her. Sort of. It made me mad when she made out with Zander under the influence of alcohol she only drank to forget about being upset. But that's what makes her such a realistic teenager.

Poor Martin! I'm dying to know what happened between him and Jia. Especially since I, like Daphne, thought that if he told her how he felt all would be right with the world. (Well, not really, but you get my drift.)

You know, my favorite non-Disney Disney move is Anastasia. It's amazing, and there are some pretty sweet songs in it as well. Granted, I only saw The Swan Princess once, and that was a really long time ago. I don't even really remember what happened in it. I do remember a swan (the princess) floating around on the lake in the darkness near the castle, but that's about ALL I remember. I kind of want to go rent it from Blockbuster now or something.

Love the tension between Sevin and Daphne in the kitchen argument. You could totally feel his sexual frustration. And hers too, sort of, even though she didn't know she had any sexual frustration. And the gooey, heart-melting kiss! =D FINALLY. It's true every Disney movie and wannabe Disney movie (like Thumbelina, which I watched recently and realized was actually a pretty bad movie) has a kiss. When I read the title of the chapter, though, I actually thought of the villian instead (which you mentioned as well, so I think I should get at least half a point).

Yay! Kissy-kissy!

So that's my review for this chapter. Once again, I apologize for not reviewing the past million and a half chapters, even though I totally should have and have been reading them and everything.

Happy writing! =)

3/7/2008 c3 pleasedeletethisaccountnow
I'm sorry, I find your story hilarious but I think the funniest thing in that chapter was your comment on the metric system of measurement - kilograms, meters etc. This I found funny because I am Australian and we ALL use that here and think that you Americans are crazy for using pounds and inches or yards or whatever.

er...yeah, it's just funny seeing someone say that!

Jorgia

2/29/2008 c24 9Manga Girl Lover
Oh. My. Goodness. This is one of the most awesomest (yeah I know that's not a word) stories I have read since I got on here! oh man! Finally they kiss! Finally! haha now... my only guess is that Flo is gonna walk in on them? hm... I sure hope you post more soon because this is just such a Great cliffehanger (note the sarcasm in the word great :P lol) post up soon!

2/27/2008 c9 4E. Collins
I really like this story! I hope I have time to finish it later

2/27/2008 c24 NON-M
OMG. This story is amazing. I was definitely looking for some light reading material to distract me from studying for like half an hour and definetely ended up wasting a whole bunch of time reading it in one go. IT'S SUPER It's really one of those stories that makes you so excited when you read it because it is genuinely interesting and captivating. Unfortunately now I have to suffer and stick out the time it takes to update : (

But seriously, I am so glad I read this story. I wasn't going to read it and had passed over it since I didn't really like the summary but the thing that ended up getting me for sure was the title. It was witty and I was like, okay I'll give it a shot. You have to be careful with the summary. After having read the story, I agree that it is reflective of the story, but before having read it, it made it seem like it could be one of those cheesy stories up everywhere on the site.

What's your forte in writing this story? I would definitely have to say that is the characters. Amazing job with the characters. Unlike most stories, fictionpress or published and even a lot of movies and TV shows, the characters lose their characterization as the story progresses. Everybody seems to blend in together and the characters lose their unique characteristics, personality and little quirks that separate them. You are definitely pretty good at maintaining your characters' personalities even though it started to fade a bit as the story continued (so just be careful of that because your story's awesome).

As I said, title is awesome and reflects a lot about your writing style and voice. Very good at capturing your audience. Plot line is also pretty good and it definitely had me held up in suspense for a few parts and it's hilariously funny in other parts. In other words, the story is truly CAPTIVATING, it really does draw/capture your readers (well at least me).

Your style of writing the really short paragraphs (it appears as one line in fictionpress) kind of turned me off a bit seeing so many sentences and not enough paragraphs, but I did notice that that improved as the story progressed. I notice that the story is very well edited, which is often lacking on this site since writers seem to always post up the chapters without having edited them well then they go back and edit after the story is done. It's nice to see that your story's edited pretty well. I didn't notice too many typos and the grammer's pretty good for the most part.

I just like the originality and "realness" of the story. This is the biggest factor for me. When I read a story I want to feel like this is real, these are real people and the situation is not far-fetched or the plot just moving along in a coincedential manner that's all too convenient. You definitely manage to do that in this story. The school and dinner, characters, parties and situations seem real and not just some cliche, platitudes. I really enjoy the element of humor too (it's hard to do it tastefully and not many people pull it off so kudos to you).

Can't think of much else now. Even though I usually think of a lot more later (which I will write in future reviews if I'm not too lazy and manage to get around to doing it).

Hope there are lots of updates coming soon and good luck with the rest of the story.

NON-M