for Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love1/10/2007 c2 
24DancingChaChaFruit
Hola! Anyway, you review me, and I decided to check out whatever it was that you had/have. Which is this. I must admit: I pretty much love the title-who cares if you took it from facebook? =P It's seriously my love-life in a nutshell. Daphne's so much like me, too. Although I just have one question: does she have a really early birthday or something? Because she's 16 and 1/2, and it's only the summer after her sophomore year. So yeah. Just a question.
Both the chapters were cute. Chapter Two was, admittedly predictable, but whatever. At least Daphne didn't accept a drink from Jason that she hadn't gotten herself, which he'd slipped the date rape drug into, so when she drank it, he tried to rape her. I'm sorry, but exactly HOW stupid are the females in these FP stories? Don't they know anything?
Okay, sorry about that.
I know you said that this story was going to be long, but I still think you're moving too fast, regardless. It has nothing to do with chapter length, but it's just kind of overwhelming to your readers when you insert so much drama into the beginning of the story, while they're still trying to get a feel for the characters and become emotionally attached to them. To be perfectly honest, this 2nd chapter probably did not provoke the desired response, main reason being that it's too early for me to be emotionally attached yet (like I just said). I mean, it sucks for Daphne, but I'm not enraged. I don't wanna smack Jason into oblivion, even though he was a jerk, and I'm not yet rooting for Sevin.
That's just my suggestion, though.
I do like this. It's cute, and Sevin's a cool character. I especially love how the dog ran away with Daphne's bra. Made me grin =)
I'll be keeping and eye out for the next chapter. Until the next review! =)
PS. Wouldn't Daphne be pissed that Jason's "stealing" her first kiss? (I'm assuming it's her first kiss since she's never had a relationship before. If I'm wrong, then please correct me. And explain somewhere in the story.)
24DancingChaChaFruitHola! Anyway, you review me, and I decided to check out whatever it was that you had/have. Which is this. I must admit: I pretty much love the title-who cares if you took it from facebook? =P It's seriously my love-life in a nutshell. Daphne's so much like me, too. Although I just have one question: does she have a really early birthday or something? Because she's 16 and 1/2, and it's only the summer after her sophomore year. So yeah. Just a question.
Both the chapters were cute. Chapter Two was, admittedly predictable, but whatever. At least Daphne didn't accept a drink from Jason that she hadn't gotten herself, which he'd slipped the date rape drug into, so when she drank it, he tried to rape her. I'm sorry, but exactly HOW stupid are the females in these FP stories? Don't they know anything?
Okay, sorry about that.
I know you said that this story was going to be long, but I still think you're moving too fast, regardless. It has nothing to do with chapter length, but it's just kind of overwhelming to your readers when you insert so much drama into the beginning of the story, while they're still trying to get a feel for the characters and become emotionally attached to them. To be perfectly honest, this 2nd chapter probably did not provoke the desired response, main reason being that it's too early for me to be emotionally attached yet (like I just said). I mean, it sucks for Daphne, but I'm not enraged. I don't wanna smack Jason into oblivion, even though he was a jerk, and I'm not yet rooting for Sevin.
That's just my suggestion, though.
I do like this. It's cute, and Sevin's a cool character. I especially love how the dog ran away with Daphne's bra. Made me grin =)
I'll be keeping and eye out for the next chapter. Until the next review! =)
PS. Wouldn't Daphne be pissed that Jason's "stealing" her first kiss? (I'm assuming it's her first kiss since she's never had a relationship before. If I'm wrong, then please correct me. And explain somewhere in the story.)
1/10/2007 c2 10Empty Darkness
Yay! Sevvy saved her!
STUPID JASON - I HATE YOU, YOU @$$HOLE! 'EFFIN B@$T@RD!
Anyway...Jason...is totally dead to me now. I'm gonna call Daphne Minnie now. I dunno why.
Anyways, I can't wait to se what hapens!
xoxo,
Shaz
10Empty DarknessYay! Sevvy saved her!
STUPID JASON - I HATE YOU, YOU @$$HOLE! 'EFFIN B@$T@RD!
Anyway...Jason...is totally dead to me now. I'm gonna call Daphne Minnie now. I dunno why.
Anyways, I can't wait to se what hapens!
xoxo,
Shaz
1/9/2007 c2 2Skitties
Oohh. I totally thought Jason would rock. :O But it saddens me that he doesn't. But Sevin does! (And I love his name. :3) Keep groovin' groove master. xD (I have no idea why I said that.)
- Dreaming i.n Negative
2SkittiesOohh. I totally thought Jason would rock. :O But it saddens me that he doesn't. But Sevin does! (And I love his name. :3) Keep groovin' groove master. xD (I have no idea why I said that.)
- Dreaming i.n Negative
1/9/2007 c2 3shuushuu
YAY!
OMG
OMG
OMG
That was the bestest chapter in the whole entire world...seriously, jason turns out to be and jerk and sevin is the night in shining armour!
Have i already told you how much i love this story...SEVIN THE HEROO! WHOOHO!
Sorry im just so excited! LOL!
Im so glad that you have decided to update this story quickly coz that means that i dont have to wait long for the next installment!
OMG you actually dont understand how much i want to read the never chapter...
SEVIN AND DAPHNE ALL THE WAY!
My favorite line in this chapter has to be 'When Sevin got in the car, he did a double take and then let out a low whistle. “Hottie,” he said to me' HAHAHHA then he used the lame car thing...we no he secretly likes her! HE HAS TO!
Anyways...i rele hop that you update soon! will be waiting!
Happy writing!
DDF X
3shuushuuYAY!
OMG
OMG
OMG
That was the bestest chapter in the whole entire world...seriously, jason turns out to be and jerk and sevin is the night in shining armour!
Have i already told you how much i love this story...SEVIN THE HEROO! WHOOHO!
Sorry im just so excited! LOL!
Im so glad that you have decided to update this story quickly coz that means that i dont have to wait long for the next installment!
OMG you actually dont understand how much i want to read the never chapter...
SEVIN AND DAPHNE ALL THE WAY!
My favorite line in this chapter has to be 'When Sevin got in the car, he did a double take and then let out a low whistle. “Hottie,” he said to me' HAHAHHA then he used the lame car thing...we no he secretly likes her! HE HAS TO!
Anyways...i rele hop that you update soon! will be waiting!
Happy writing!
DDF X
1/9/2007 c1 shuushuu
NO!
Sorry lets back track...
Hi this is the first time I'm reading this, coz for some stupid reason i never seen it before...but I LOVE IT!
but from the first couple of paragraphs i totally fell in love with Sevin...is that wrong of me?
Coz to me Jason is like too MUHUMINA (word that me and my friends decide to shout everytime a real hot guy passes) not to have a hidden agenda...
anyways i need to read the next chapter but i love sevin...please dont hurt him...it would just be too sad...
will be reviewing the next chapter
DDF X
NO!
Sorry lets back track...
Hi this is the first time I'm reading this, coz for some stupid reason i never seen it before...but I LOVE IT!
but from the first couple of paragraphs i totally fell in love with Sevin...is that wrong of me?
Coz to me Jason is like too MUHUMINA (word that me and my friends decide to shout everytime a real hot guy passes) not to have a hidden agenda...
anyways i need to read the next chapter but i love sevin...please dont hurt him...it would just be too sad...
will be reviewing the next chapter
DDF X
1/8/2007 c1 9Cass Boothe
Good story, but you might want to work on verb tense agreement. The most extreme example from this chapter is "I sped up and exiting"
9Cass BootheGood story, but you might want to work on verb tense agreement. The most extreme example from this chapter is "I sped up and exiting"
1/6/2007 c1 Chowdizzle
Facebook anyone?
Did you get the name from that Facebook group? I just saw a group on Facebook today, and it has the same name as your story.
ANYWAYS, I like the story so far. Update soon! :)
Facebook anyone?
Did you get the name from that Facebook group? I just saw a group on Facebook today, and it has the same name as your story.
ANYWAYS, I like the story so far. Update soon! :)
1/6/2007 c1 10Empty Darkness
-waves-
INTERESTED READER OVER HERE!
First off - I loved the titles. Titles attract me - you have a very attractive title. lol
I LOVE DAPHNE! (And I love that name, I love naming things it.) She is witty.
Curses to Disney! Of course, it's great to escape reality sometimes, hmm?
I like Jason already. But I also like Sev, and his name. I don't know why.
I'm so sticking around! -says so in stupid valley girl voice- Just kidding - but please, update soon!
~ Shaz
10Empty Darkness-waves-
INTERESTED READER OVER HERE!
First off - I loved the titles. Titles attract me - you have a very attractive title. lol
I LOVE DAPHNE! (And I love that name, I love naming things it.) She is witty.
Curses to Disney! Of course, it's great to escape reality sometimes, hmm?
I like Jason already. But I also like Sev, and his name. I don't know why.
I'm so sticking around! -says so in stupid valley girl voice- Just kidding - but please, update soon!
~ Shaz
1/5/2007 c1 5aishling-stone
Wow, this is great! xD I actually started laughing out loud, which is kind of bad because my parents don't know I'm not in bed at the moment... xD Oops. This was worth it. Can't wait to read the rest!
5aishling-stoneWow, this is great! xD I actually started laughing out loud, which is kind of bad because my parents don't know I'm not in bed at the moment... xD Oops. This was worth it. Can't wait to read the rest!