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for Legend of The Wolf Champion

6/19/2008 c2 3Estelin
this was excellent. keep up the good work and writing.
1/14/2008 c1 6luckyblakcat
I really like this story. Please continue.
1/6/2007 c2 12Lccorp2


General impression: Boring, droll, inspid, yadda yadda. The first chapter was nothing but a huge infodump that served nothing to draw a reader in. Why should I give a sod about this contest, or this particular forest, or these wolves? I've got nothing, zero, zilch dialogue, action, or characterization to draw me into the story.

Nothing happens in the second chapter either. Nothing.

-Way to go TELLING people character traits instead of showing them. These is probably the number one thing that should be SHOWN, for the simple reason that force-feeding intelligent raders opinions about characters is an instant turn-off. Plus if you tell people one thing and show them another, they will laugh at you. Can't remember how many people had "intelligent eyes" or somesuch dreck and turned out doing dumb things.

I could complain forever about realism and the need to do research, but you know what? I'll leave you with these things first. Just...think about these more basic things before trying to move on.

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