for Silver Lily4/18/2011 c1 
5Cecily Mitchell
What a nice beginning. Good story setup. I really can't wait to read more.
5Cecily MitchellWhat a nice beginning. Good story setup. I really can't wait to read more.
2/9/2008 c1 6acriter
I like how you twist what is expected so that the princess already knows that she is royal and doesn't find out in a coincidental twist of fate. It must be very strange that she has to serve her mother with half the servants knowing who she really is.
6acriterI like how you twist what is expected so that the princess already knows that she is royal and doesn't find out in a coincidental twist of fate. It must be very strange that she has to serve her mother with half the servants knowing who she really is.
4/25/2007 c1 someone
at first it was a little confusing and hard to follow, then it got better. i enjoyed it, but it still wasnt as vivid as your others... maybe thats just becuase i dont read much about castles and this stuff... it might also be becuase you were in 6th grade.. i bet the new version will be awesome
at first it was a little confusing and hard to follow, then it got better. i enjoyed it, but it still wasnt as vivid as your others... maybe thats just becuase i dont read much about castles and this stuff... it might also be becuase you were in 6th grade.. i bet the new version will be awesome
1/11/2007 c1 12elisefey
I have to say that I like the fact that Ecila already knows she's royal; it makes for an interesting dynamic with her mother. There alot of originality going for this story, I like it!
12elisefeyI have to say that I like the fact that Ecila already knows she's royal; it makes for an interesting dynamic with her mother. There alot of originality going for this story, I like it!
1/7/2007 c1 newby6320
Yay! This is really really good. I love it. I do have a rephrasing suggestion, though. In stead of saying "The entire castle was engulfed in the body heat of hundredes of humans and animals and the heat from the ovens." you might leave out the phrase "and the heat from the ovens" as it makes the sentence bulky and awkward to read and doesn't really do anything to add to the idea that the castle is oppressingly hot, the first part of the sentence does that well enough on its own. Other than that, really good. Be careful of going too sparingly on adjectives, though, you've got a few spots where it gets a little hard to understand because there's not enough description. All in all, great start! I can't wait until the next update.
p.s. I really like the note at the begining of the story. :)
Yay! This is really really good. I love it. I do have a rephrasing suggestion, though. In stead of saying "The entire castle was engulfed in the body heat of hundredes of humans and animals and the heat from the ovens." you might leave out the phrase "and the heat from the ovens" as it makes the sentence bulky and awkward to read and doesn't really do anything to add to the idea that the castle is oppressingly hot, the first part of the sentence does that well enough on its own. Other than that, really good. Be careful of going too sparingly on adjectives, though, you've got a few spots where it gets a little hard to understand because there's not enough description. All in all, great start! I can't wait until the next update.
p.s. I really like the note at the begining of the story. :)
1/6/2007 c1 1Narc
This is actually really good. Your summary accurately described your story and really caught my interest. One thing doesn't make sense to me, and it's something you may need to explain down the road. I don't understand why the Queen would try to hide the fact that her daughter is still alive. She could have just declared her stepdaughter as the heir. If for nothing else, Ecila would have been useful for marriage.
1NarcThis is actually really good. Your summary accurately described your story and really caught my interest. One thing doesn't make sense to me, and it's something you may need to explain down the road. I don't understand why the Queen would try to hide the fact that her daughter is still alive. She could have just declared her stepdaughter as the heir. If for nothing else, Ecila would have been useful for marriage.