for Salidocious12/13/2007 c2 
38Kenna-Kat11
i love this story its so good. Reggie and Grace have both grown on me and your description, especially the first couple of paragraphs is awesome. I love the name of the city and well obviously the name of the story too...its interesting about the rain as well...sorry i don't have much critque to say about this chapter
can't wait to read more!
~E~
38Kenna-Kat11i love this story its so good. Reggie and Grace have both grown on me and your description, especially the first couple of paragraphs is awesome. I love the name of the city and well obviously the name of the story too...its interesting about the rain as well...sorry i don't have much critque to say about this chapter
can't wait to read more!
~E~
12/13/2007 c1 Kenna-Kat11
I like it so far...its interesting and only gives you a bit of the story so it makes you want to keep reading...i love the little girl..she is so cute and reminds me of my cousin...
I can't help but wondering if Nana is actually Laurel and she is repeating her life as the story...it could be a far-fetched guess but i think i will hold onto it for now...:)
can't wait to read more!
~E~
I like it so far...its interesting and only gives you a bit of the story so it makes you want to keep reading...i love the little girl..she is so cute and reminds me of my cousin...
I can't help but wondering if Nana is actually Laurel and she is repeating her life as the story...it could be a far-fetched guess but i think i will hold onto it for now...:)
can't wait to read more!
~E~
12/5/2007 c1 77A Sweet Escape
ohh, wow! this is totally amazing so far! it's incrediblly intriguing (however u spell it)! i love it!
77A Sweet Escapeohh, wow! this is totally amazing so far! it's incrediblly intriguing (however u spell it)! i love it!
11/11/2007 c14 2xlovexpollutionx
buenissimo like usual! the only annoyance i have is that you use laurel's name SO MUCH. maybe use a "she" here and there...i noticed this especially when she was being introduced to and observing the girls at the clothing shop.
2xlovexpollutionxbuenissimo like usual! the only annoyance i have is that you use laurel's name SO MUCH. maybe use a "she" here and there...i noticed this especially when she was being introduced to and observing the girls at the clothing shop.
10/21/2007 c13 2Seigetsu Ren
What a mean, mean Philip and his whole "I'm prince so shut up" attitude. Though Laurel seemed to have over-reacted a bit, that doesn't stop him from being mean...
Anyway, good job in your story. It's about young people, but it isn't like those cliche highschool stories (not that I don't like those, but moving on...). The dialogue is fluid and believable, and descriptions used are quite detailed. Either way, it is a nice story, so hopefully you'll continue to do such a great job!
If you don't mind, would you please give me some feedback on my story? I'm new to fp so I'm not very experienced, therefore, I find feedback to be very beneficial. It's only if you have time though; I can completely understand if you don't.
Anyway, congratulations on a story well done. Good luck with your writing!
2Seigetsu RenWhat a mean, mean Philip and his whole "I'm prince so shut up" attitude. Though Laurel seemed to have over-reacted a bit, that doesn't stop him from being mean...
Anyway, good job in your story. It's about young people, but it isn't like those cliche highschool stories (not that I don't like those, but moving on...). The dialogue is fluid and believable, and descriptions used are quite detailed. Either way, it is a nice story, so hopefully you'll continue to do such a great job!
If you don't mind, would you please give me some feedback on my story? I'm new to fp so I'm not very experienced, therefore, I find feedback to be very beneficial. It's only if you have time though; I can completely understand if you don't.
Anyway, congratulations on a story well done. Good luck with your writing!
10/21/2007 c13 2xlovexpollutionx
awesome. i like it. :D
max-ness.
yesh.
anyway my only problemo: fix the asterisk/break things caz it's confusing.
anyway GOOD JOB YAY.
2xlovexpollutionxawesome. i like it. :D
max-ness.
yesh.
anyway my only problemo: fix the asterisk/break things caz it's confusing.
anyway GOOD JOB YAY.
10/7/2007 c11 xlovexpollutionx
good job, keep it up!
even though i think you've sent me the beginning of this before, it felt familiar.
good job, keep it up!
even though i think you've sent me the beginning of this before, it felt familiar.
7/28/2007 c10 xlovexpollutionx
Yay! No criticism this time, haha. JUST PRAISE! W0T!
I'm so proud! My little baby's growing up! *sob*
teehee
you are amazing. keep it up.
Yay! No criticism this time, haha. JUST PRAISE! W0T!
I'm so proud! My little baby's growing up! *sob*
teehee
you are amazing. keep it up.
7/13/2007 c10 2Make Love Not War
LOL I HATE when people do that. When they're like, neener neener I've got this HUGE terrible SECRET. But oh, no, sorry, I can't tell you.
"Pyt". That's definitley an interesting way of spelling that name. Is it supposed to be said 'Pete' (Peet) ...(Peat)? Maybe you're British and spell lots of things funny.
POOR MITTENS! I really hope nothing happens to her. ..Him. Ugh.
Silly Phillip. :O He needs to chillax. And Max! I miss him. I think that Phillip is such a fartknocker because he's lost his sister. And when she's found he'll be stop acting like Mittens just ran up his butt.
UGGH. POOR WES. I LOVE HIM. I want him to be haapyy. xD
Wonderful update, NOW DO IT AGAIN.
:D
2Make Love Not WarLOL I HATE when people do that. When they're like, neener neener I've got this HUGE terrible SECRET. But oh, no, sorry, I can't tell you.
"Pyt". That's definitley an interesting way of spelling that name. Is it supposed to be said 'Pete' (Peet) ...(Peat)? Maybe you're British and spell lots of things funny.
POOR MITTENS! I really hope nothing happens to her. ..Him. Ugh.
Silly Phillip. :O He needs to chillax. And Max! I miss him. I think that Phillip is such a fartknocker because he's lost his sister. And when she's found he'll be stop acting like Mittens just ran up his butt.
UGGH. POOR WES. I LOVE HIM. I want him to be haapyy. xD
Wonderful update, NOW DO IT AGAIN.
:D
7/9/2007 c9 Make Love Not War
I liked this chapter too. :D
Loved it, in fact.
I haven't had much time for reading (work...) but AACK. Update soon! I can't wait to see what is in store for Laurel. And ooh la la, what is this mysterious past between Wes and Grace? :O
And how Laurel doesn't like Max. At all. ;).
UGH. SO UPDATE SOON. Please. Because you love me.
:D
(P.S. Everytime I read "Salidocious" I read "So delicious". (...Fergalicious!) Okay. Sorry. xD That had no point. I need to think *Mary Poppins*. SAL-EH-DOH-SHUS.
kbye.
I liked this chapter too. :D
Loved it, in fact.
I haven't had much time for reading (work...) but AACK. Update soon! I can't wait to see what is in store for Laurel. And ooh la la, what is this mysterious past between Wes and Grace? :O
And how Laurel doesn't like Max. At all. ;).
UGH. SO UPDATE SOON. Please. Because you love me.
:D
(P.S. Everytime I read "Salidocious" I read "So delicious". (...Fergalicious!) Okay. Sorry. xD That had no point. I need to think *Mary Poppins*. SAL-EH-DOH-SHUS.
kbye.
7/9/2007 c8 Make Love Not War
You explain things so well without going on and on about it. :O
That's all I have time to say. xD
kbye.
:D
You explain things so well without going on and on about it. :O
That's all I have time to say. xD
kbye.
:D
7/8/2007 c7 Make Love Not War
ACK LAUREL! What is this assignment? And what's going to happen to her? AND WHAT THE HECK IS REGGIE (yay he's back!) GOING ON ABOUT!
xD Off to read more...
:D
ACK LAUREL! What is this assignment? And what's going to happen to her? AND WHAT THE HECK IS REGGIE (yay he's back!) GOING ON ABOUT!
xD Off to read more...
:D
7/5/2007 c4 Make Love Not War
So I finally figured out what I like so much about this. You have such well developed characters!
Laurel's my favorite. She rocks.
But what happened to Reggie and Grace and Wes? I liked all of them too. :O
D:
So I finally figured out what I like so much about this. You have such well developed characters!
Laurel's my favorite. She rocks.
But what happened to Reggie and Grace and Wes? I liked all of them too. :O
D:
7/5/2007 c2 Make Love Not War
Well, well, well...
I have absolutely no criticism for this story yet beacuse I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. Seriously. I don't even know what it is about it, it's just so great to read. It's easy to follow but intelligent. And interesting.
I can't wait to find out what happened to all of the adults. :O
Off to read the rest...
:D
Well, well, well...
I have absolutely no criticism for this story yet beacuse I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. Seriously. I don't even know what it is about it, it's just so great to read. It's easy to follow but intelligent. And interesting.
I can't wait to find out what happened to all of the adults. :O
Off to read the rest...
:D