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8/3/2005 c1 8jackjan1jk
It's poignant...and a girl who kills...and is commanded to...it's wonderful...however grammar can be better
7/29/2005 c1 14method acting
Very powerful. Sickeningly so. It gave me chills. Nice job.
11/19/2004 c1 Ahemait
that was good, short...but good. I think it'd be better if you started the sentences with more than 'Anna' or 'then' but I'm not complaining. I also think you rushed into this a bit. You could, note on the COULD, rewrite to make the same concept but longer and have different points of view.

Just a thought!
3/17/2001 c1 hmm
hmm..
3/17/2001 c1 70Megan
Large white space at the bottom of the story... Um, I probably would have liked this more had I not read one extremely simular to this beforehand. The idea was okay and you wrote it well, but this would have been better from a victim's point of view.
3/17/2001 c1 Stargaze
Um..interesting. I didn't really like it.
3/16/2001 c1 Tinkerbell10
it was interesting.. if you would have made it longer it would have been a lot better.. i love horror stories so rewrite it and keep adding to it.. it would be a ton better! not to sound mean!
3/16/2001 c1 3Taidel
Interesting, and over too soon. This short has potential to be something much more epic. Anna's "friend" is also the Voice that comes to depressives and tells them how horrible they supposedly are. Why did Death start talking to her? Did she have other victims besides her brother? You've got the end to what could be a very hard-hitting novel here, so don't give up!

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