for Ice Lady8/17/2008 c1 
10Caecilia
"until the small alarm clock crashed to the floor and gave up its duty with a digital beep of disgrace."~ Love that line. Poor alarm clock. But it deserves it.
"Behind him three human punks in leathers were drawing pistols and giggling like schoolgirls at their boisterous leader" With that imagery in my head, I was laughing so hard, it was hard to keep reading.
You switch from viewpoints very fluidly, I like how you're changing them and not staying with just one person's POV for the whole story. Good job in mixing it up.
"As far the rest she.." I think you should add another 'as' in there, so it becomes "As far as the rest she..." Because what's there right now doesn't really make much sense.
Anywho, you're descriptions are AMAZING. Got recommended this piece, glad I read it. Good stuff.
~Caecilia
10Caecilia"until the small alarm clock crashed to the floor and gave up its duty with a digital beep of disgrace."~ Love that line. Poor alarm clock. But it deserves it.
"Behind him three human punks in leathers were drawing pistols and giggling like schoolgirls at their boisterous leader" With that imagery in my head, I was laughing so hard, it was hard to keep reading.
You switch from viewpoints very fluidly, I like how you're changing them and not staying with just one person's POV for the whole story. Good job in mixing it up.
"As far the rest she.." I think you should add another 'as' in there, so it becomes "As far as the rest she..." Because what's there right now doesn't really make much sense.
Anywho, you're descriptions are AMAZING. Got recommended this piece, glad I read it. Good stuff.
~Caecilia
8/14/2008 c1 10FrameJock
So I came here, to return the favor of the review, and what to my wondering eyes should appear...
Why, it's the very universe that I owe many, many wasted hours of my youth to.
You have a brilliant handle on this world, its people and their things. The fantasy element isn't too overly blown out of proportion, and the sci-fi is just right.
Excellent work, and great description of all things.
Something about your name strikes me familiar, though... have we met, out here in the real world?
10FrameJockSo I came here, to return the favor of the review, and what to my wondering eyes should appear...
Why, it's the very universe that I owe many, many wasted hours of my youth to.
You have a brilliant handle on this world, its people and their things. The fantasy element isn't too overly blown out of proportion, and the sci-fi is just right.
Excellent work, and great description of all things.
Something about your name strikes me familiar, though... have we met, out here in the real world?