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for Larni & Aden A Journey Through Magic

9/7/2007 c8 JS
This has a great story line! However, the characters could be developed a bit more. Good job!

- JS
7/21/2007 c5 1iWannaGoHomeNow
Kinjan? EXCUSE me?

My lawyers will be contacting you in relation to the copyright infringement. We want some answers!
4/17/2007 c4 KidBomb
i like the idea of a charm thingy but then again i like the idea of having a random brother show up and not having to pack for vacation

wishful thinking i guess

keep writing
4/17/2007 c3 KidBomb
why would she do it for aden?

im confused

oh well keep writing
4/17/2007 c2 KidBomb
she has powers!

although i kind of guessed it

keep going
4/17/2007 c1 KidBomb
im hooked on this story i like how the humor is less obvious and keep writing although a suggestion is too describe things more (i shouldnt talk)


Steven Logan
3/23/2007 c4 iwanttodeletethiswtf
Hey this is really awesome I'm really glad that you reviewed my poem which led me to read and review this it seems like it'll be a fantastic story. Keep it going. For a first time this is REALLY good. Thanks again for reviewing my poem.


p.s.-ur on my Fave Authors list! YAY!
1/31/2007 c3 16Long Island Iced Tea
The conversation isn't very realistic - it's just so...unnatural, stiff.
1/31/2007 c2 Long Island Iced Tea
1/31/2007 c1 Long Island Iced Tea
I saw you advertise this on the Stories and Plots that Interest Forum and decided to check it out. So far, quite good. Is this on Earth? Part of it sounds like that, but part doesn't. Modern other-world maybe? Allannah is another spelling of Alanna right?

The language in the letter was very flowery. And how was Allannah born? She just popped out without any assistance? Weird...
1/18/2007 c2 1iWannaGoHomeNow
when are you going to update?

you told me to review and i did. Now i want more!
1/18/2007 c3 iWannaGoHomeNow
Aww, i wanted her to burn at the stake! :(
1/18/2007 c1 iWannaGoHomeNow
Interesting... is Sinthia drunk?
1/11/2007 c1 4Purity of Light
no! need ch 2! hurry come on! UPDATE! lol.

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