for Summer Melody2/3/2007 c1 
23Forever Forbidden
Woah. Eloquent rhyme! The picture I see is quite delightful. xD
The only part that I sorta had a problem with was "they dance all afternoon". Maybe reconsider that line? The syllables are slightly off.
All in all, good job!
-Helen
23Forever ForbiddenWoah. Eloquent rhyme! The picture I see is quite delightful. xD
The only part that I sorta had a problem with was "they dance all afternoon". Maybe reconsider that line? The syllables are slightly off.
All in all, good job!
-Helen