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6/24/2009 c16 12TheAirIbreathe
Last chapter so far is a bit disappointing, only that it didn't move too much - still not a fan of Sydney (hard to even remember his name). Seriously though, you better edit. lol. And yeah, I know how that feels to reread something and cringe (not that your story is cringe-worthy. Unless you've already re-edited it). :) Great going.

p.s. still not a fan of sydney's.
6/24/2009 c15 TheAirIbreathe
Damn lol that was a nasty cliffhanger, if I've ever seen one. I definitely prefer Griffin because there's just so much tension. Sydney is more like the pretty background boy.
6/24/2009 c12 TheAirIbreathe
I really like how you build it up. I tend to really rush when I'm trying to just get to a point.
6/24/2009 c11 TheAirIbreathe
I'm not actually on the edge of the seat (because that's uncomfortable) but I'm leaning across the table so I'm practically as close to the screen as I can get before my head starts hurting. :) lol. Really great chapter.
6/24/2009 c16 5LizLizLiz
I almost peed my pants because of the email I got about an update. YAY! I'm so excited! :)
6/24/2009 c16 6AlwaysTheNegativeOptimist
Gosh. Charlotte is such a... ugh! She makes me mad.


But Griffin and Dakota are so cute together.
6/24/2009 c7 12TheAirIbreathe
Lol. Griffin is a freak.

Griffin smirks. “You’re daddy lied to you,” he tells her, wrapping an arm around my waist and nibbling on my ear.

I love your characters, your writing is really good.
6/24/2009 c4 TheAirIbreathe
6/24/2009 c3 TheAirIbreathe
It's good, like the other two chapters I've read. The only thing is that Griffin's actual appearance seems kind of sketchy to me at the moment as it wasn't really described. So i'm trying to picture him as a tall, handsome-ish guy on the lean side, but he's mostly coming off as a stocky, rough, bully-type (which I know is not the case). That'll probably change, though.
6/24/2009 c2 TheAirIbreathe
I can honestly say this is the only story on Fictionpress so far that I haven't had to force myself to read every line. There are a lot of things I could say if I wanted to be really picky in terms of constructive criticism. But I think this is awesome - if your 317 reviews didn't already tell you that.
6/24/2009 c1 TheAirIbreathe
The line that really got to me was: My world has tilted sideways and I don't know what to do about it. It seems to mean so many things and I love Dakota's voice.
6/24/2009 c16 thecakethief
thank jesus smoking crack in the back parking lot!

so glad to have at least a little closure on this story. Phew.

and I'd like to think that my review for the last chapter is what pushed you to continue writing(:

even though I know that's so far from true. haha!
6/22/2009 c15 thecakethief
poor Sidney! I knew from the moment Dakota started hanging out with him that there was a history between him and Griffin. And im sorry, but that was just an ass of a thing for Dakota just to forget that Sidney, who was hurt SO effin bad by Griffin, actually looked for the guy in order to defend Dakota! And to just kiss griffin and forget all about that kinda thing... i know he didn't mean to, but i am pretty pissed at Dakota. Sidney needs to find a good kind boy who will take care of him and make him feel good inside. Tsk, tsk Griffin. Even if he is hot. He's too much of a player. Hopefully Dakota can teach him a lesson! Oh, and i was so proud when he punched him in the face and left. :)

nice story!
6/22/2009 c2 thecakethief
aww! Griffin's so cute in a 'i want eat you' kinda way. Like a baby tiger!

and he's damn smart too, by the way. His plan is completely genius and so simple! I could totally see him writing down a list and taping it on his wall and then laughing like a deranged (sexy!) pedophile.

1. Get Dakota alone

2. Make him horny

3. Leave

4. Repeat

5. Have crazy hot sex

anyway, im looking forward to reading more! and update soon because i like to have at least a three chapter safety net and im pretty sure ill get through this fast!

P.S. I love the names you chose for your characters!
5/11/2009 c15 6AlwaysTheNegativeOptimist
wow... i'm way curious to see what happens! and yay! Griffin and Dakota are totally cool again!
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