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2/3/2007 c1 134emeraude-irlandais
The tone in this is gorgeously wistful, rather regretful that the "crystalled images" did "vanish into unquenchable time". You might want to hyphenate "shatter voiced", "coolness warmth", "work rough", etc...It just gives the words a stronger visual connection. Excellent piece. `~bella~`
1/31/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Wow, beautiful piece. I know that feeling so well, where you just have to capture something in words or in a photo before it escapes forever. So gorgeous. (Though I will admit not being able to look at the phrase "young buck" without laughing...Too much time writing ridiculous reality show slash, I tell you.) Nice work. Keep writing! :)
1/29/2007 c1 66WonderWing
If children could grasp the concept of poetry, I think the results would be similiar to this poem. Like a child you explain the world as the feeling it is. Your writing is not filled with eloquent words, but the way you combine simple speech and perception is awesome in its own right. It was great how you compared her to the animals.
1/26/2007 c1 879Moondog Dozier
This is marvelous. It's so tender and relatable. Phrases like, "so all-glancing", really captures the attachment of emotion that is conveyed. There is so much subtle feeling, and wonder in this. I read this four times, and still see something new and beautiful with each reading. Stunning. A favorite, due to the specific description and the comfortable tone that is expressed. I think I'll read this for a fifth time, and many more. Great write. MD:77.
1/26/2007 c1 32passive.soul
I love the wording, you choose it very distinctly and it works together so well. And the title is great.

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