for glass heart3/18/2007 c1 
8mrs.rivers
mrs.rivers here.
I believe in returning the favor when it comes to reviews!:-)
What I like: the glass-blowing metaphor is rich and I felt myself caught up in it. What I would NOT change is the end: "as it falls off the table/ and shatters/ into a million pieces." Wow. I felt a jolt in the ole gut and if a poem does that, then you've done something right.
You've got a good framework, but I think I want more. More of what? Well, I would insert more images of the actual glassblowing. In addition, I would mingle these images with references to Genesis, because you already have the "Creator" with a capital "C" going on. This would make an already clever poem even that much more solid.
Happy writing!
mrs.rivers
8mrs.riversmrs.rivers here.
I believe in returning the favor when it comes to reviews!:-)
What I like: the glass-blowing metaphor is rich and I felt myself caught up in it. What I would NOT change is the end: "as it falls off the table/ and shatters/ into a million pieces." Wow. I felt a jolt in the ole gut and if a poem does that, then you've done something right.
You've got a good framework, but I think I want more. More of what? Well, I would insert more images of the actual glassblowing. In addition, I would mingle these images with references to Genesis, because you already have the "Creator" with a capital "C" going on. This would make an already clever poem even that much more solid.
Happy writing!
mrs.rivers
2/14/2007 c1 59C.H. Bashaw
"No matter what you do in life, it honestly doesn't matter and no one will care."
That's what this one says to me. I dont know if that's what your intention was though...
59C.H. Bashaw"No matter what you do in life, it honestly doesn't matter and no one will care."
That's what this one says to me. I dont know if that's what your intention was though...