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for glass heart

3/18/2007 c1 8mrs.rivers
mrs.rivers here.

I believe in returning the favor when it comes to reviews!:-)

What I like: the glass-blowing metaphor is rich and I felt myself caught up in it. What I would NOT change is the end: "as it falls off the table/ and shatters/ into a million pieces." Wow. I felt a jolt in the ole gut and if a poem does that, then you've done something right.

You've got a good framework, but I think I want more. More of what? Well, I would insert more images of the actual glassblowing. In addition, I would mingle these images with references to Genesis, because you already have the "Creator" with a capital "C" going on. This would make an already clever poem even that much more solid.

Happy writing!

2/14/2007 c1 59C.H. Bashaw
"No matter what you do in life, it honestly doesn't matter and no one will care."

That's what this one says to me. I dont know if that's what your intention was though...

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