
12/16/2007 c9
1DRAGONFIRE04
PLEASE UPDATE SOON. I like to see what happen next. I like to see some flashbacks about their lives.

PLEASE UPDATE SOON. I like to see what happen next. I like to see some flashbacks about their lives.
12/16/2007 c1
1LittleRedRodeo
One thing I noticed about your prose is that it's really well-written. The epigram and opneing paragraph were both very interesting. However, you keep making a common mistake throughout the chapter. "Your" in the dialogue should be written as "you're." Another error I pointed out was at the end of this chapter, when you described a man as 6'5". Since this is fantasy, we can't assume that they use the same measuring units as we do. See if you can replace this with something else, like "a head taller" or "as tall as a ladder," just for example. Since you're really good at descriptive writing (I can picture your characters perfectly), this shouldn't be a problem for you.

One thing I noticed about your prose is that it's really well-written. The epigram and opneing paragraph were both very interesting. However, you keep making a common mistake throughout the chapter. "Your" in the dialogue should be written as "you're." Another error I pointed out was at the end of this chapter, when you described a man as 6'5". Since this is fantasy, we can't assume that they use the same measuring units as we do. See if you can replace this with something else, like "a head taller" or "as tall as a ladder," just for example. Since you're really good at descriptive writing (I can picture your characters perfectly), this shouldn't be a problem for you.
5/15/2007 c7
1DRAGONFIRE04
Thanks for updating I like the two chapter please keep the chapter coming.

Thanks for updating I like the two chapter please keep the chapter coming.