for Jar of Innocence1/30/2008 c1 
17Dusk Has Fallen
This is a very sweet poem. I really liked the first and third stanza, but the last line of the third seems to force the rhyme a bit You're definitely right about people giving up their childhood innocence, and everyone should follow your advice!
17Dusk Has FallenThis is a very sweet poem. I really liked the first and third stanza, but the last line of the third seems to force the rhyme a bit You're definitely right about people giving up their childhood innocence, and everyone should follow your advice!
4/30/2007 c1 1Forgotten Shadow
Hey! I didn't know you still kepy on this! awesome poem btw. I love the rhyming...and SEND ME HINDERS CD! i'm goin crazy up here w/out it ttyl!
1Forgotten ShadowHey! I didn't know you still kepy on this! awesome poem btw. I love the rhyming...and SEND ME HINDERS CD! i'm goin crazy up here w/out it ttyl!
4/21/2007 c1 4Abysmal Tr3pidation
I agree, way too many people fo give up "The innocence of youth" too quickly. Amazing poem oh and "Chicken Tenders" lolz
Keep Writing.
~**~Indiana~**~
4Abysmal Tr3pidationI agree, way too many people fo give up "The innocence of youth" too quickly. Amazing poem oh and "Chicken Tenders" lolz
Keep Writing.
~**~Indiana~**~
4/9/2007 c1 56felicia13
I like the last stanza the best. It's cool AND true all at once. Good for you.
Nice imagry throughout, but a little short for my taste. Sometimes I wish I had a jar to keep nice things in ... it'd be a nice jar.
Felicia.
56felicia13I like the last stanza the best. It's cool AND true all at once. Good for you.
Nice imagry throughout, but a little short for my taste. Sometimes I wish I had a jar to keep nice things in ... it'd be a nice jar.
Felicia.
3/27/2007 c1 58Marionette Dancer
britt! this is really good. i liked it a lot. ... ... ...
the line about it being full of wishes, of prayerful songs and mother's kisses...that was amazing, and for some reason this was my favorite line... and then at the end, when it says, "so keep your jar" ... it really makes me think about what is in my own life that i could change my perspective on, to think of it as a gift rather than a hinderance...very very good. :)
post some more stuff! i miss seeing the little email pop up that silent screamer has new stuff...neway, keep it up!
oh, ive also started a new profile "madeline wells" for some of my newer stuff...not sure why, but u should check it out, i dont have much up right now.
58Marionette Dancerbritt! this is really good. i liked it a lot. ... ... ...
the line about it being full of wishes, of prayerful songs and mother's kisses...that was amazing, and for some reason this was my favorite line... and then at the end, when it says, "so keep your jar" ... it really makes me think about what is in my own life that i could change my perspective on, to think of it as a gift rather than a hinderance...very very good. :)
post some more stuff! i miss seeing the little email pop up that silent screamer has new stuff...neway, keep it up!
oh, ive also started a new profile "madeline wells" for some of my newer stuff...not sure why, but u should check it out, i dont have much up right now.
2/6/2007 c1 The Intelligent Designer
I loved it! The jar full of wishes is the perfect metaphor for innocence. I almost feel that the second stanza should be I keep it close/So not to forget it, instead of to not forget...doesn't matter. Very good job on this. (Oh, and Chicken Tenders, and I'll be watching for the bunnies!)
I loved it! The jar full of wishes is the perfect metaphor for innocence. I almost feel that the second stanza should be I keep it close/So not to forget it, instead of to not forget...doesn't matter. Very good job on this. (Oh, and Chicken Tenders, and I'll be watching for the bunnies!)
2/6/2007 c1 Eloquent-Marionette
wow, brit! what a come back! this is awesome! i love the symbolism you use. i love the first stanza "i have a jar/ it's full of wishes/of prayerful songs/ and mothers kisses" it grabs you and holds onto you until the end! ^ ^ but, its so true! people do try to grow up too fast. why? what's the rush? i like how you make it a point to not forget your childhood because those days are gone far too soon. it seems people forget how to be a kid and they're too afraid to show their creative kid side. what happened to playing school and playing on the playground? is it really all that bad to use your imagination from time to time and play games and make up your own games? we had some of the most fun as a child. yet it's gone before you know it. very beautiful poem! forgive me for my rambling, i got lost in thought. keep writing forever and always!
luv always,
~Davida ;p
wow, brit! what a come back! this is awesome! i love the symbolism you use. i love the first stanza "i have a jar/ it's full of wishes/of prayerful songs/ and mothers kisses" it grabs you and holds onto you until the end! ^ ^ but, its so true! people do try to grow up too fast. why? what's the rush? i like how you make it a point to not forget your childhood because those days are gone far too soon. it seems people forget how to be a kid and they're too afraid to show their creative kid side. what happened to playing school and playing on the playground? is it really all that bad to use your imagination from time to time and play games and make up your own games? we had some of the most fun as a child. yet it's gone before you know it. very beautiful poem! forgive me for my rambling, i got lost in thought. keep writing forever and always!
luv always,
~Davida ;p
2/2/2007 c1 115Random-Idiocity
This was really good.. and yes you did write a poem by friday, let's hope you keep writing more. I need to write more to catch up with you haha anyways awesome poem and Keep it Up!
115Random-IdiocityThis was really good.. and yes you did write a poem by friday, let's hope you keep writing more. I need to write more to catch up with you haha anyways awesome poem and Keep it Up!
2/2/2007 c1 5ce n'est pas que je m'appelle
Beautiful.
Thanks so much for the reveiw!
~PottersSweetie17
5ce n'est pas que je m'appelleBeautiful.
Thanks so much for the reveiw!
~PottersSweetie17
2/2/2007 c1 1thoughtmaker
lol chicken tenders. You've opened my eyes to the bunny menace... thank you! anywho, good poem i liked the idea and the way you wrote it. Good job! ;)
1thoughtmakerlol chicken tenders. You've opened my eyes to the bunny menace... thank you! anywho, good poem i liked the idea and the way you wrote it. Good job! ;)
2/2/2007 c1 1SUPERSONIC ck
this was really good!
haha, that's funny! you know what they say, great minds think alike ;]
1SUPERSONIC ckthis was really good!
haha, that's funny! you know what they say, great minds think alike ;]
2/2/2007 c1 43je suis une pomme du terre
Aww... I love the first 4 lines... When you said "if it should break" I got the image of the jar falling and shattering on the floor... it's so powerful! Wonderful job.
~Tender Hostility
43je suis une pomme du terreAww... I love the first 4 lines... When you said "if it should break" I got the image of the jar falling and shattering on the floor... it's so powerful! Wonderful job.
~Tender Hostility