for Slapdash Superior Sell Its Soul3/11/2007 c1 
478speakeasy-love
I finally got to your story. No insult intended, i really am this lazy. unfortunatly, few complantes. How many people are in this room? i counted like 5 then counted again and got 4, baffiling. try double spacing your text when you have fast dialog, it makes it less confusing like:
"bla bla" yelled mike
"Well bla bla!" sam yelled back.
sal, salinger. dont nick name people so early, its way confusing O.o...
um...i think thats all...thats all i can remember. Sorry if you feel insulted, i personly always like it when people critisize my work.
unfortunatly i cant really be sure of my opinoin on HOW you write considering most of this was dialog, but from what i read i liked. Cant wait for more! make love, not war.
478speakeasy-loveI finally got to your story. No insult intended, i really am this lazy. unfortunatly, few complantes. How many people are in this room? i counted like 5 then counted again and got 4, baffiling. try double spacing your text when you have fast dialog, it makes it less confusing like:
"bla bla" yelled mike
"Well bla bla!" sam yelled back.
sal, salinger. dont nick name people so early, its way confusing O.o...
um...i think thats all...thats all i can remember. Sorry if you feel insulted, i personly always like it when people critisize my work.
unfortunatly i cant really be sure of my opinoin on HOW you write considering most of this was dialog, but from what i read i liked. Cant wait for more! make love, not war.