for Breaking the Rules3/17/2010 c1 
44Alyosha Karamazov
awesome..just..awesome. "dancing at funerals and making love with our eyes open"
44Alyosha Karamazovawesome..just..awesome. "dancing at funerals and making love with our eyes open"
6/5/2007 c1 16Love to Laugh
Wow, I LOVED this poem. It was so raw with truth. It made me want to cry. Especially the comparison of the extreme high to the extreme low. For example my two favorite lines being "We were the exception to every rule, dancing at funerals and making love with our eyes open" going from that intense visual to the line "I've run out of excuses to love you" Very poinant(sp?) and heart breaking. If this is based on any kind of truth - I sincerly hope things worked out and I am sorry you had to go through it!
16Love to LaughWow, I LOVED this poem. It was so raw with truth. It made me want to cry. Especially the comparison of the extreme high to the extreme low. For example my two favorite lines being "We were the exception to every rule, dancing at funerals and making love with our eyes open" going from that intense visual to the line "I've run out of excuses to love you" Very poinant(sp?) and heart breaking. If this is based on any kind of truth - I sincerly hope things worked out and I am sorry you had to go through it!
5/25/2007 c1 Lost in A World of Pain
An excellent poem, I must truly say. The descriptions of what was enjoyed is very well conveyed and I like the way you build the poem up to the point where you mention the failed second chance. The last line really clinches it for me. When you say the word 'and' just seems so right. The question posed after the 'and' is so profound yet when a person reads the word 'and' one gets the feeling of nonchalance and yet it isn't really all that. Great work.
Cheers
Lost in A World of Pain
An excellent poem, I must truly say. The descriptions of what was enjoyed is very well conveyed and I like the way you build the poem up to the point where you mention the failed second chance. The last line really clinches it for me. When you say the word 'and' just seems so right. The question posed after the 'and' is so profound yet when a person reads the word 'and' one gets the feeling of nonchalance and yet it isn't really all that. Great work.
Cheers
Lost in A World of Pain
2/7/2007 c1 36xxImmortalFirexx
I'm emerged in your poem, your imagery is profound and ring clear. I felt taken away by your word choice- good job, keep it up.
36xxImmortalFirexxI'm emerged in your poem, your imagery is profound and ring clear. I felt taken away by your word choice- good job, keep it up.
2/7/2007 c1 24she's not breathing
i love how long your lines can be =P maybe i shouldn't, but it catches one's attention rather quickly. i don't like the title on this, but i see the connection to the "exception to every rule" which i used a lot until i realized how trite it was. haha. maybe i'm just biased. i think it's obvious there's a contradiction here from the lines that follow - which are wonderful, btw - & that you don't need to state your theme. that second line has its own flow - it moves on its own. love the clock image as well as the "failed second chance" and the link between sleep & frozenness. it just ties it together very nicely. & i like the end, too. simple concept, but you do simple concepts well. pretty. thankyou for updating :)
-kait
24she's not breathingi love how long your lines can be =P maybe i shouldn't, but it catches one's attention rather quickly. i don't like the title on this, but i see the connection to the "exception to every rule" which i used a lot until i realized how trite it was. haha. maybe i'm just biased. i think it's obvious there's a contradiction here from the lines that follow - which are wonderful, btw - & that you don't need to state your theme. that second line has its own flow - it moves on its own. love the clock image as well as the "failed second chance" and the link between sleep & frozenness. it just ties it together very nicely. & i like the end, too. simple concept, but you do simple concepts well. pretty. thankyou for updating :)
-kait
2/7/2007 c1 102Midnight In Eden
I quite like this. I just wish for more line breaks something perhaps like:
I remember the night
when you swore with kisses
along the curve of my neck
that words were only made
to fit the beating of our hearts
Merely a suggestion but I think it would help the flow of this. It's a wonderful portrait really.
And I think you could get rid of the "and" on the last line and just let it speak.
Otherwise, quite liking (especially: welcome that morning with sleepy eyes and frozen fingertips)
.:midnight:.
102Midnight In EdenI quite like this. I just wish for more line breaks something perhaps like:
I remember the night
when you swore with kisses
along the curve of my neck
that words were only made
to fit the beating of our hearts
Merely a suggestion but I think it would help the flow of this. It's a wonderful portrait really.
And I think you could get rid of the "and" on the last line and just let it speak.
Otherwise, quite liking (especially: welcome that morning with sleepy eyes and frozen fingertips)
.:midnight:.