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for Repression

5/27/2011 c1 Adelois
11/16/2008 c1 blueskye13
Wow... dark and twisted. that was really intense, for some reason it brings to mind dungeons.i really like it...
11/8/2007 c1 5LizardtheScribe
The image of a man standing over the caved out corpse of a woman with a fetus between his teeth will now repulse and haunt me for a very long time. Nice work on setting the mood, especially with a shocker like that at the end of the story. You used very good limitation to the description of the father's actions- it was neither understated nor too wordy. Also, your imagery is very good. Keep up the good work, and your story will be the reason I won't sleep for several weeks!
9/27/2007 c1 10DarkBlysse
Hey, Onar! Review Game time! :D

First off, I picked this one and not Hel, because the whole collab thing interested me more.

"I was but a small child then, I doubt I was any older than eight, the storm was an abomination to my child-like senses."

-This really should be broken up into two sentences. One that has the bit about their age, and then separate how scary the storm was.

"...abominable..."-This is the second time in just a few lines that you've used that word, or a derivative of it. Try to find a synonym for it.


Well, now that I am able to type again-Goddamnit, that's sick. Like, insanely f*cking so. But you wrote it really well, though. Just... eugh. Gross. O.o;; Why in the hell was it in his -mouth-?

This was pretty good overall, but the ending was a little too abrupt for me. It didn't wrap up anything for me, really.

6/7/2007 c1 6Ivory Byrd
yay! i love it! (ignore her she finds glee in these things) it was really well described and i could see it all in my minds eye, is it just a oneshot? i hope not because its really great!
5/31/2007 c1 2InViSiBlE wOmAn
Incredibly vivid! As you said twisted, but still amazing, excellent job!
4/16/2007 c1 2Christopher T. Brown
Wow. That was intense, especially at the end with the father. It doesn't need more, but it might be interesting to see where it goes.
2/28/2007 c1 46antigonelives
That is awesomely dark, and honestly speaking? Same idea was in my head, too... don't know whether it makes us crazy or not! You wrote this well.
2/14/2007 c1 4a smile goes unnoticed
i love it. beautiful, sick, warped, twisted, whatever you want to call it, it doesnt matter because its just... cool.

thanks for the review.

keep up the good work

2/10/2007 c1 9a sickened pup
i love me sick twisted poetry..swet

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