for Spartan2/11/2007 c1 
9Alteng
Ah, good ole Sparta, and where is the Queen of Sparta indeed. I know, hush. You aren't writing of the Trojan War.
I am interested in the story, and it does hold the attention well. The couple of suggestions I have for it. Son't use the word "okay", because that is a 20th century slang. "All right" means the same, and I think it was around then. (I have this problem with Bane of Rendsberg, because that story is 16th Century).
I would think that it would work out better that Argos died fair and square in the battle, instead of being stabbed in the back while helping another. Altanta is young and naive. She could still hold a grudge, even if it is not justly founded.
Anyway. It is a good story.
9AltengAh, good ole Sparta, and where is the Queen of Sparta indeed. I know, hush. You aren't writing of the Trojan War.
I am interested in the story, and it does hold the attention well. The couple of suggestions I have for it. Son't use the word "okay", because that is a 20th century slang. "All right" means the same, and I think it was around then. (I have this problem with Bane of Rendsberg, because that story is 16th Century).
I would think that it would work out better that Argos died fair and square in the battle, instead of being stabbed in the back while helping another. Altanta is young and naive. She could still hold a grudge, even if it is not justly founded.
Anyway. It is a good story.
2/11/2007 c1 1Sunspazz321
I like how you've phrased the story, and how you've written it. It's interesting, and it seems like you've done you're research on Sparta. I can't wait to read the next chapter!
1Sunspazz321I like how you've phrased the story, and how you've written it. It's interesting, and it seems like you've done you're research on Sparta. I can't wait to read the next chapter!