for Fighting Off the Past3/12/2007 c4 Topez
Keep writing! Your story is good. try to use less speech, the last few chapters were made up of speech mostly. xD
Keep writing! Your story is good. try to use less speech, the last few chapters were made up of speech mostly. xD
2/24/2007 c3 
3KazeKarisa
Hello again. Heheh.. Did you use Ash's name as part of Lactes's full name on purpose?
3KazeKarisaHello again. Heheh.. Did you use Ash's name as part of Lactes's full name on purpose?
2/24/2007 c1 KazeKarisa
Yeah azure! You go girl! Your language is great here, and I like the way you described her memories in the 1st paragraph.
I feel you should give the part where Lystelle introduce herself a little more drama. It didn't quite flow with the rest of what she said. In my opinion, you should put the part where Lystelle says," I am the guardian of your soul; I come to help you escape." at the end.
Like so,
"Fear not, for with this none will see us yet.” she pressed a marble into Midnyte's palm. Midnyte instantly recognised it as the Bead of Concealment. The girl went on. “Your soul—it is not in the Other Realm. You are not dead. Instead, your soul is trapped. Within what, I know not. It lies not within my understanding. I only know that I have been sent to help you. To guide you through this. To bring you home. I am the guardian of your soul; I come to help you escape. My name is Lystelle."
You can take my advice if you want but it's okay. (:
Yeah azure! You go girl! Your language is great here, and I like the way you described her memories in the 1st paragraph.
I feel you should give the part where Lystelle introduce herself a little more drama. It didn't quite flow with the rest of what she said. In my opinion, you should put the part where Lystelle says," I am the guardian of your soul; I come to help you escape." at the end.
Like so,
"Fear not, for with this none will see us yet.” she pressed a marble into Midnyte's palm. Midnyte instantly recognised it as the Bead of Concealment. The girl went on. “Your soul—it is not in the Other Realm. You are not dead. Instead, your soul is trapped. Within what, I know not. It lies not within my understanding. I only know that I have been sent to help you. To guide you through this. To bring you home. I am the guardian of your soul; I come to help you escape. My name is Lystelle."
You can take my advice if you want but it's okay. (:
2/20/2007 c2 Umbreon-Rawks
OMG, I meant 'pull through'... I meant to say that I hope that Midnyte manages to PULL through, not pukk through... lol, there's sumting wrong with me...
OMG, I meant 'pull through'... I meant to say that I hope that Midnyte manages to PULL through, not pukk through... lol, there's sumting wrong with me...
2/19/2007 c4 7Quatus
Hey! Sorry been meaning to read beyond the first chapter for ages, but never had enough time to just sit back and read it!
- too much stupid homework I'm afraid! Really like it, so keep going! Loving all the characters by the way - don't know how you can write it all so fast, or atleast find the time to write it! (something I struggle with especially!)
Will email you sometime soon.
Quatus
7QuatusHey! Sorry been meaning to read beyond the first chapter for ages, but never had enough time to just sit back and read it!
- too much stupid homework I'm afraid! Really like it, so keep going! Loving all the characters by the way - don't know how you can write it all so fast, or atleast find the time to write it! (something I struggle with especially!)
Will email you sometime soon.
Quatus
2/19/2007 c4 Umbreon-Rawks
Whoa, cool. I hope Midnyte manages to pukk through! This is, by far, my favourite chapter!
Whoa, cool. I hope Midnyte manages to pukk through! This is, by far, my favourite chapter!
2/17/2007 c3 Umbreon-Rawks
Ooh... The suspense...
I like it when u change é POV. It is SWEET! I wonder what the next chapter will b like. I luv suspense! Even though this is Supernatural/Fantasy, it is still full of suspense.
I've posted a new story. It's a belated Valentine's Day oneshot. Hope u can check it out!
BTW, ur profile looks so much better than mine. Mine is way too long. I can't help mine. XP
Ooh... The suspense...
I like it when u change é POV. It is SWEET! I wonder what the next chapter will b like. I luv suspense! Even though this is Supernatural/Fantasy, it is still full of suspense.
I've posted a new story. It's a belated Valentine's Day oneshot. Hope u can check it out!
BTW, ur profile looks so much better than mine. Mine is way too long. I can't help mine. XP
2/16/2007 c2 Umbreon-Rawks
Hihihihihihihi
XP I sound like Izzy. Anyway, I think you've shown me this part before on your PDA, rite? I've always wanted to know what happens after this part. I love suspense... Especially if it's Supernatural-genred stories! But most especially if it's ur story! ^ ^
Tks so much for visiting me in sch 2dae! I wanted to run up and hug u like wat I did to Wan Ting (yes, she VISITED! WHOO!) but I got CCA. Oh well!
Sayounara, Umbreon-Azure! Hope to see more updaties! Yay
Hihihihihihihi
XP I sound like Izzy. Anyway, I think you've shown me this part before on your PDA, rite? I've always wanted to know what happens after this part. I love suspense... Especially if it's Supernatural-genred stories! But most especially if it's ur story! ^ ^
Tks so much for visiting me in sch 2dae! I wanted to run up and hug u like wat I did to Wan Ting (yes, she VISITED! WHOO!) but I got CCA. Oh well!
Sayounara, Umbreon-Azure! Hope to see more updaties! Yay
2/13/2007 c1 7Quatus
Hey I liked your story, although did confuse me a bit at first, but that just might be me. Besides it just makes me want to read more and find out whats going on.
Thanks for that! And if you could have a look at one of my stories.
7QuatusHey I liked your story, although did confuse me a bit at first, but that just might be me. Besides it just makes me want to read more and find out whats going on.
Thanks for that! And if you could have a look at one of my stories.
2/12/2007 c1 Umbreon-Rawks
Wow. Just... WOW.
I had no idea that it was going to be this descriptive. And of course this is placed in the correct genres. I love the part when Lystelle had a little talk with Midnyte. Great names, by the way.
I so cannot wait for the next update! I will review when I can and I hope u can review mine too! ^ ^
Wow. Just... WOW.
I had no idea that it was going to be this descriptive. And of course this is placed in the correct genres. I love the part when Lystelle had a little talk with Midnyte. Great names, by the way.
I so cannot wait for the next update! I will review when I can and I hope u can review mine too! ^ ^