for Twisted Black Ice2/18/2007 c1 
80magnusthewolf
maybe a comman instead of the first period would work better, and actually, the seond one too...the pause isnt needed i dont think and it also makes the next entences fragments and seem to be starting suddenly, when you actually want them to have a more "contnuous flow" deel to them flowing right after the preceding line.
interesting topic which i can relate to so i liked that.
80magnusthewolfmaybe a comman instead of the first period would work better, and actually, the seond one too...the pause isnt needed i dont think and it also makes the next entences fragments and seem to be starting suddenly, when you actually want them to have a more "contnuous flow" deel to them flowing right after the preceding line.
interesting topic which i can relate to so i liked that.
2/12/2007 c1 she smolders
The last verse is quite intriguing and makes me what to know what battle she is facing. I like this.
The last verse is quite intriguing and makes me what to know what battle she is facing. I like this.