for The Absurd2/28/2007 c1 
1rage of aquarius
so many elements in this, i can't decide where to start. *deep breath*...okay.
this is, perhaps, about the commodification of valentines day? i get that impression from the images of vanity, models, the ever-present chocolate(s) on that holiday. the "lusted," not lusting aspect of the lovers...word choice here is very significant. it's about being lusted after, instead of lusting, right?
all the whispered words "on/paper and lips" ring hollow when juxtaposed with "busted/hearts" and "fuck-me curls." the truth is not in the chocolate; it's in the smooth, steady, vain preparation that the poem evokes, the calculation, and the meaningless that is referenced at the end.
i second this. absolutely.
1rage of aquariusso many elements in this, i can't decide where to start. *deep breath*...okay.
this is, perhaps, about the commodification of valentines day? i get that impression from the images of vanity, models, the ever-present chocolate(s) on that holiday. the "lusted," not lusting aspect of the lovers...word choice here is very significant. it's about being lusted after, instead of lusting, right?
all the whispered words "on/paper and lips" ring hollow when juxtaposed with "busted/hearts" and "fuck-me curls." the truth is not in the chocolate; it's in the smooth, steady, vain preparation that the poem evokes, the calculation, and the meaningless that is referenced at the end.
i second this. absolutely.
2/18/2007 c1 she smolders
Last week on Valentine's day, I had forgotten the 'significance' of the day until the day after. I like to believe that maybe real love isn't as perfect as those Hallmark card messages we get on Valentine's day. The last fews lines of this really got to me because what you said was sadly true.
Last week on Valentine's day, I had forgotten the 'significance' of the day until the day after. I like to believe that maybe real love isn't as perfect as those Hallmark card messages we get on Valentine's day. The last fews lines of this really got to me because what you said was sadly true.
2/18/2007 c1 879Moondog Dozier
The tone in this is so seasonally appropriate. I often wonder the same things. Isn't it truly a forced holiday. Well written. Loved the tone. MD:77.
879Moondog DozierThe tone in this is so seasonally appropriate. I often wonder the same things. Isn't it truly a forced holiday. Well written. Loved the tone. MD:77.
2/16/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Oh my. "fuck-me curls" is most fantastic. I made an exclamation out loud when I read that. I love the image of the models gyrating in this candy - I really did get this crazy picture of 1940s pin-ups and then a visual of that hard candy that's shaped like ribbons. I'm not sure of the exact term for it, but I think you know what I mean. And I realize that the "ribboned" part was referring to the chocolate and not the hard candy, but... I do think that the ending disappoints with the strong beginning you have here. I do know that it's hard to really end a poem that begins like this one in a way that really blows someone away. But yes, the pictures at the beginning of this are just extraordinary. Great job. Keep writing! :)
871no.peace.los.angelesOh my. "fuck-me curls" is most fantastic. I made an exclamation out loud when I read that. I love the image of the models gyrating in this candy - I really did get this crazy picture of 1940s pin-ups and then a visual of that hard candy that's shaped like ribbons. I'm not sure of the exact term for it, but I think you know what I mean. And I realize that the "ribboned" part was referring to the chocolate and not the hard candy, but... I do think that the ending disappoints with the strong beginning you have here. I do know that it's hard to really end a poem that begins like this one in a way that really blows someone away. But yes, the pictures at the beginning of this are just extraordinary. Great job. Keep writing! :)