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3/15/2007 c1 81Princess-anna57
Really nice poem. :) Excellent. Write on!

~Anna~ ^_^
2/23/2007 c1 174marshbar960
loved the "shining beacon of hope". thanks for sharing and keep writing!
2/15/2007 c1 102Midnight In Eden
I'm assuming the "then" in line two is "them" otherwise I don't think it quite makes sense.

I think you've got a good opening line and a nice idea but your language comes off a tad cliched ie: "A shining beacon of hope." and "A bright angel". I think reworking those two images would really help keep this interesting. Also the semi colon on line three should either be a comma and the comma on the next line a colon.

Otherwise, short and to the point. Nice work.


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