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6/20/2010 c1 11watercolour dreams
Very nice work. I can definitely relate to this one. Everyone probably can. I love the last line. "Until we drifted apart on the river of change"... It's so very perfect. I can relate this poem to my current situation. It's sad. I thought nothing could break through the knot my friend and I shared too. Oh well, things change I guess, and you portrayed that SO well. You write brilliantly. Nice work!
10/12/2008 c1 18found.eventually

I can so definitely relate to this one. :/ I don't think that's a good thing.

But then again, a string can have more than one knot.

When one is loosen up, the others remain.

And that's what keeps the string hanging.

And eventually, if it's lucky enough, it gets new knots.

Then life change. For the better. Again.

Don't you think?

Nice work, darl'.
8/28/2008 c1 8Written
hey! i just noticed you put me on alerts so I thought I'd check out your stuff.

pretty cool poem... we all know the feeling, right? it's weird how quickly friendships can dissolve.

I really liked the line about the knot on a string; I've never heard that one before! I love poetry when it's original and sharp, so that was good. I think the "sun and a moon" part worked a little less well. I would have maybe liked it better if you talked about a moon and how it revolves around a planet or something, but the way it is now reads kind of cliche...

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh! I don't mean it that way, I promise.

My only other critique would be that the end of the poem sounds a little too... drifty... I mean, the "..." after the nothing, and the last sentence... usually the end of the poem should be the strongest part, and it didn't really do it for me.

If it were mine, I'd probably say something about a river bend or how it splits and you can't stop it... or something, but it's good the way it is too, because sometimes friendships just drift apart! I think I just have a thing against ellipses in poems :)

anyway, that's a lot of rambling. basically, job well done! I enjoyed the read.
4/11/2008 c1 3starlit x sky
Aww that was really sad - but really good too.

I like how you described friendship: Like a knot on a string, We became so tight.

The last line is really good too.
3/15/2007 c1 9Sally Can Wait
I liked it-the symbolism worked well together, and it flowed well. It had a beat that stayed focused and shiz. I don't really know much about poetry (attention span is too short), but this kept my attention. And it captured a unique feeling that I have never read anything about before-which was definitley cool. That's writing, eh? Capturing acute emotions?

Which you totally did.


Sally Can Wait
2/20/2007 c1 12KingdomRain
its nice. it had a nice flow and i liked the way you described the friendship. "like a knot on a strin, we became so tight." great line.

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