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for The Universe

2/21/2007 c1 61Dani P
honestly the begining of the poem wasnt that great, but the last 7 or so lines were very good. i particularly like the last two lines. the begining of the poem was to simple and not mysterious or as deep as the last few lines. Its like two different styles put into one poem which makes it clash. i would try to rework the poem to keep the theme that you have going on in the last half of the poem go all the way through.

hope this has helped.

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