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10/24/2007 c1 criti-sized
This was really good. The emotion that you portrayed in it was nice, and the characters made a great impact on their parts. For a short it showed great potential for a longer story- Though I sometimes think that some stories are better off as one shots.

Great short.

C.S.
10/17/2007 c1 19ihrtbks
That was so powerful. This is the first time I've ever read anything like this, and I loved it. I really like how you keep us wondering about the person until almost the end; we're wondering if it's a student or a teacher that changed just your life or everyone's. And I have to commend your grammar; you can actually punctuate correctly. But your fast-forwards don't quite convey the time change; you may want to try using rules or changing the tense of the beginning part.

GREAT JOB!
7/25/2007 c1 TheDJ
That's a beautiful story... I really enjoyed how the two fast forwards (I ususally hate *fast forwards in stories... usually they show that the writer (usually me) has run out of ideas) but I loved how these allowed the feelings expressed in the initial plot line to be expressed again, almost 15 years later, without lots of boring narritive in between. Really enjoyed the story - we all have teachers like that lol, and I certainly felt that way when I left school. Good writing, keep it up. -TheDJ
4/16/2007 c1 1LittleAngleWings
I think it is a very nice story. It is well written and has a good message in it. It is realy touching. Great job!
3/23/2007 c1 12FrenzyFan78
I really like the idea you have here. Very much. I know it's a one shot, but I could see adding on another chapter or so, or maybe just elaborating on this one, as quite beneficial. I also noticed a few grammar errors that can be easily fixed by a little editing.

But as far as the story, I really think it would add a lot to explain a little more exactly what this Mrs. Emerson did that changed the main character's life. And those "Fast forward X number of years" seem to make the storyline rushed and a little choppy, but that could just be me.

Anyway, it's definitely worth working on. You're a good writer.

-FrenzyFan78
3/18/2007 c1 3The Ferrett
That was decent but what of the effect of rereading the letter? Could that be incoperated into this piece somehow?
2/23/2007 c1 3Masooma
It's a story that certainly evokes some powerful emotions that we may think are simple but on the contrary, are quite complicated. It's a well written piece that forms questions about inner strength and hope; good job. Some elaboration on the the more subtle emotions might have contributed to a more powerful moral but it's a good try nonetheless.

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