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for The Witches of Calgary

2/25/2007 c1 Annie Goddess of Bad Weather
Hey Megan! I'm FINALLY givng you feedback. Woot.

1. I like the beginning paragraph a lot. It's amusing and has a good hook.

2. At first you're getting into the nightmare infestation, but then you digress to the card game and the aunts. While they do talk about the nightmares, it's distracting when the reader really wants to know more about the nightmares, not about the family and their card game. You could move that scene later in the story or edit it so that it's more about why the aunt moved and why the protagonist bought the house.

3. Heh. The aunt's name is Eugene. Better than Phallus, though.

4. I want to read more! Though it may take me a while to offer more feedback, since I'm lazy.
2/25/2007 c1 amy
This story is very interesting, I would like to know where you take it next. I have read a bit further with the story you sent me in my email, is that going to be about the same or have you changed some things around? I really like it so far and I love the use of the word "nightmares" in this story. I agree about the title though, when I read that it makes me think of that movie "The Witches of Eastwick" or something like that. Well I hope to see more of this story.
2/25/2007 c1 AmyLeeAndStephenieMeyerAreLove
This is a very good story so far. I must reserve judgement until I read more, but I shall be excited to do so. You have a way with words and flow, which is good, and although I would prefer more meat in a single chapter, I enjoyed this.

I noticed one "problem".

"No use, complaining."

This should be "It was no use to complain", "There was no use complaining", or something else along those lines.

Keep up the good work, I await more eagerly.

~Lyn

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