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for An art of the heart

4/10/2007 c1 32Morbane
Part of me protests at the abruptness of 'for you'. But I agree with every point of style, especially the line breaks exactly where you put them, up until the comma after 'An art of the heart,' which confuses me.

It's very sing-song and that's something I've always, oddly, associated with bitterness or spite.

'Work too cold', I like, the continual return to concrete, physical properties in this task.
2/27/2007 c1 879Moondog Dozier
The pace, and the word placement in this is marvelous. It sets up hesitations, and line overruns so well that the reader reads it the way the writer intends the reader to read it. I think I just confused myself with that statement. It rolls well with the pace established, and the depth of thought is enhanced greatly by how universally relatable the words, and their meanings become in this context. Quite well developed. MD:77.
2/27/2007 c1 829Anaare
What a wonderful and refreshing poem. Truly beautiful imagery, complimented by elegant wording and a good rhythm. My only (very little) criticism would be the line breaks, which are not always to my liking. But I am sure I'm just a nitpicker.

I also want to thank you immensely for your continued reviews. They are truly appreciated and I am ashamed at my lack of gratitude and my returning of the favour. My deepest apologies. I shall try to read and review more. If I forget, please remind me!

With regards and best wishes,

2/26/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Interesting piece. I love how you've taken something like heartbreak and made it into a piece of artwork, yet claimed the art of heartbreak is much too dangerous to be formed into artwork. Very intriguing. You've done a wonderful job with this. (And ooh, I was reading your profile and now I am curious as to who you're referring to. I think I know, but I could be wrong. You should message me and tell me...) Keep writing! :)
2/26/2007 c1 17bR0k3N
Lovely and splendid. I loved it. with all of my heart.

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