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for She passed for a hooker

3/14/2007 c1 11cashew
Wow. So as soon as I read the title I just had to read it (I have the maturity level of a 12-year-old so I see the word "hooker" and click).

Anyway. Amazing! I enjoy poetry but normally try to stay away from it on fictionpress as it ends up...um, to be polite, not living up to my expectations.

You write extremely well and your descriptions are able to give life with very few words. In any case, you write beautifully and I'm off to read the rest of your poems.
2/28/2007 c1 1rage of aquarius
it's as if she's got the appearance of a prostitute (i'm so great at pointing out the obvious: "she passed for a hooker," anyone?) but there's a(n)...i don't know the word for it...charm, vulnerability?...about her that maybe she doesn't have the heart for it, what with the "dark tears blurred/mascara down her cheeks blushed/black with bruises." and her "miniskirt"...why is she pretending? IS she pretending? inquiring minds want to know. damn, you're good.
2/28/2007 c1 11Leylique Morrow
Simple and tragic. I can't decide if she was kicked out or raped, but the effect is essentially the same. Beautiful.
2/27/2007 c1 879Moondog Dozier
This paints an interesting social portrait. Appearances drown our outlooks so completely sometimes. Very vivid. I like the repetition of "dark", in lines 10 and 11. It centers the word flow of the next three lines beautifully. Good work. MD:77.
2/27/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Oh, wow. The ending of this totally jarred me. I was not expecting that at all. I love the idea of "downtown night and old building shadows" - I can really see that clearly. Nice alliteration, too, with "blushed black with bruises," and I really like the way you phrased that. The last line just..wow. Great job. Keep writing! :)
2/27/2007 c1 90poetic abortion
The last line is fabulous-I ADORE that line. It's beautiful.

- Noelle
2/27/2007 c1 3tangelos
i like how this piece focuses on the girl/hooker figure... the descriptions are vivid, and the words used ("pirouetted", "smothered") added dynamism and energy to the images. In the conclusion of the poem I am oddly reminded of a rag doll, something a little ridiculous and a little tragic... very interesting piece. do keep writing :D
2/27/2007 c1 17bR0k3N
That was just sad.
2/26/2007 c1 92burning in effigy
i like the transition from hooker to girl out on the street that was kicked out (?) and beaten up

possible typo.. the last word: waste. do you mean waist?

"She licked her lips between cars/and pirouetted when they passed/with their smothered/honks of contempt and step-on-/the-gas hurry." loved the imagery and setting you provided :)

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