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for Sebastian Bear Invisible Pervert

3/14/2012 c21 2OrangeKiss
Omg! I super love this brilliant work of art! It's the best, most original, most thrilling, nail-biting, butterfly-summoning, eye-bawling fiction ever! It was wonderful, really beautiful, lovely, adorable, fantastic, amazing, and brilliant. No words can describe it. You made a fantastic job in writing-it's a real work of art. All the dream worlds and reality-goodness. I'm at a loss of words. I wish Eros is real. I want a Sebastian Beaaaar! Seriously dude, you rock. This story brought me to tears. But I was really really happy that it is a happy ending! :D I won't get over this story for seriously a long time.

Sebxy and Madsy forever! 333

~OrangeKiss
1/1/2012 c6 subina
how old is maddie supposed to be because in one of the chapters sabastian said that he was gone for like 10 years and maddie remembered something about seb when they were 10 and 11, and then you mentioned that the twins were models for a while when they were 3 and she was 8, that would make her 5 years older than the twins so now that the twins are 13 that would make her 18. so if shes now 18 then seb would be gone for 8 years and not 10 or seb would have gone away when she was 8 years old if he was gone for 8 years or maybe maddie is actually 20 but then that would mean that the age of the twins is wrong. please correct this mistake because its confusing me.
1/1/2012 c3 subina
i think you meant to write "chaste kiss" instead of 'chase kiss to the base of my neck'
12/26/2011 c2 tiltedHead
this is getting exciting...
12/26/2011 c1 tiltedHead
Really interesting chapter.
12/20/2011 c21 2Usuicross
It was a VERY creative story. Really. I've never read anything like it.

But some parts were a little off, and Madsy - Madeline, actually, seemed a bit too weak at times. I suppose that happens in those situations. Also, the epilogue...er...lemme be honest, the sex scene needed more description, but since you are not a very big fan of those, it can be accepted. Hehe.

I'm in love with Sebastian. xD His character development was done superbly. Definitely one of my favourites.

Thanks for the imagination.

Imika
12/12/2011 c1 Whatsoever
Oh. My. God. This story was so utterly amazing and wow and fantastic and unbelievable and awesome and mindblowing and original and ...well you get the gist. Thank you so much for writing this. I'm now going to read your other stories (:
11/18/2011 c21 4F.H.W
That was the saddest ending from the best story ever. It is about dreams being real and something I have a weakness for so I think i'm biased to it but I love it! Please write more awesome stories like this. I think if u make this story into a book, it will definitely sell:)
11/2/2011 c21 LittleMissLeprechaun
I love this story!

This is the third time I've read it, and it is AMAZING! I love the plot line, Seb, Madsy, everyone!

Please post a link or something whenever you get published! I would love to buy your books!

The only problem was a couple of spelling/grammatical errors...
10/17/2011 c21 Nepenthe Intensions
Loved it! Read the whole thing in a day :) if there was one thing I'd mention, it's just be that I felt certain scenes went a little fast, such as when Seb rescued Madsy. But other than that I have absolutely no complaints! Great story(:
10/15/2011 c21 anisa
I have read this story many times and i absolutely love how goofy and awkward you made the "sexy time" scene. It stayed true to their character. I'm completely in love with this story.
10/4/2011 c21 1Letham
I'm totally going to go back and review every chapter, but right now I'm only doing this one.

You're story... WAS AWESOME. It was FUDGING BEAUTIFUL. I LOVED IT SO MUCH I'M GONNA DIE! You're so creative, and you had such good ideas, and a wonderful plot and ohhhhhhhh my god.

Usually when someone has too many mistakes I tend to stop reading the story because I can't take it seriously, but with yours I was absolutely addicted. The mistakes weren't a big deal at all, and I can't possibly blame you for having them. Writing a story- A GREAT ONE, AT THAT- is tough shit.

Anyway, Sebastian Bear- HOLY EFF GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL AHHHHHH! I love love love you're way of writing- how you described Eros, the Lowlands, etc. I loved your characters (David Michael, Seb, Madeline, Ezra, Lucian) and what you did with them- how Ezra and Jackson didn't end up together, how Nolan didn't get a stupid little happy ending, how Yorkie liked Madeline but got over it, how Mr. Bear didn't like Madeline at first.

I wish I could read your story over again. Actually, I think I might just do that.

WELL, FANTASTIC JOB. I love Sebastian's persistence, his humor, Madeline's constant smiling, David Michael's ADORABLENESS, I love it all.

Once again, you're really creative with all the Eros ideas, all the imagination. I don't know how you did it. And I definitely don't know how you were able to come up with more and more detail and more and more ideas, one after another. I'm jealous.

I also loved how your characters developed!

LOVEDLOVEDLOVEDLOVEDLOVED ITTTTTTTTTTT.
9/29/2011 c21 T
Good concept, but it's very poorly edited. There are numerous errors in every chapter and you don't even know your protagonist's middle name. Structurally, there are a lot of unnecessary scenes. Your opening scenes aren't necessary to the story and you don't have a unique or even vaguely interesting hook. You could cut nearly right to the inciting incident, the arrival of Sebastian Bear, which would provide a much better hook. Your characterisation is inconsistent. You give no indication before changing POV, which is highly jarring. Nolan's role as a B story isn't followed through very well. The almost rape scene, which I assume is your midpoint, is very much out of character and the character development of the neighbour is highly inconsistent and unbelievable. The neighbour's role should be your C story, but at the moment it's half-arsed. The marriage is an unnecessary addition to your denouement. The emotional journey of Madeline is not believable. I see no reason to believe the turning point into act three, where she decides that she does love Sebastian.
8/31/2011 c21 Kaydence
I have no freaking idea why this story doesn't have 53874103857 reviews. I love your story like there's no tomorrow.

This story also reminded me of that one Korean drama "My Girlfriend's a Gumiho"

But I would have to say this is one of the few out of many stories that made me cry while reading it.

w/3,

Kay
8/28/2011 c21 theloverslife
This was such a good story. All that tension was insane. I'm blushing like mad, dude! I loved reading this, and I can't wait to read it again! It's late and I'm tired though so I can't leave you a novel explaining how much I loved this story, so I'll ttyl!

Can't read to read about Lucian ;)
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