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4/8/2007 c1 87Kissing Concrete
wow- this is so abstract yet makes perfect sense at the same time. it describes the world so truthfully.
3/18/2007 c1 298grip
You obviously need more poems on this site than the two you have. And no, I'm not the kind of reviewer that gives raving review in turn to have more of my own reviewed. I can truly relate to the 'in harmless studies of passing-by, we have inflicted loneliness on each other'-I get that whenever I see a beautiful/thoughtful looking girl, thinking how much more full my life could be.

And of course, I am saddened by the soluble nature of the love/companionship we give to one another that you express well.

What I'm saying with all my personal info is that you touch some everyday happenings that are too deep for me to quantify in everyday thought-so well done.
3/3/2007 c1 879Moondog Dozier
I like the way that this creates a scene, and yet it is individualized enough to be relationship specific. The way that the comparisons and inferences tip toe so gently across readily available-relatable expressions gives the reader a sense of being in the work. Very well crafted.
3/2/2007 c1 50Chandra-Moon
I liked this so much, I read it three times. First of all, the words are very beautiful, and go together smoothly and in a pleasing rhythm. You don't fall into predicatble words and phrases or simplistic patterns. And you have some really beautiful sentances. The first one I thought was really good, grabs your attention, is pretty, but there were lots of other ones. To name a few: somewhere in the dermatology of a landscape, we have inflicted loneliness/ on each other, street corners where/we meet and become a little more/like each other.

Looking at it again, it doesn't read like you used a thesaurus. You use mostly simple words, but to great effect.

Second, I love the idea behind this. To me, it was about the cycling of relationships, falling in and out of "love" that you know is "soluble"-amounts to nothing, with dissolve. It's something that happens that we do to one another, that changes us.

I also like the last line.

Anyways, I really liked this. You are very good.
3/2/2007 c1 460Time To Change
some really interesting and beautiful imagery. I think the verses flow well and I like the first line repetition.
3/1/2007 c1 5darknessblooms
Oh this is beautiful. I can't pretend to know what it all means but the word choices are brilliant! It flows together seamlessly and the imagery is so artistic - it may be inspiration for a painting I have to say. And the emotions, there are so many, subtle but powerful...I get the sense of a love that has endured over time and all obstacles; the two people may not even be together or have moved on in their separate lives but theirs is a love that will never end.

Very well done. And thank you so much for the reviews. It means much.
2/28/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Wow, that is incredible. I love the way your words play off each other, how they both bump & reflect and melt into each other at the same time. I love so many of your phrases in this - "dermatology of a landscape," "a closed sunset," "a promise melting down a phone line." Just amazing word choice. Seriously beautiful. You and this poem are going on my favorites. Keep writing! :)
2/28/2007 c1 195t-t-t-ouch
I really love how you compared things and the metaphors. Its really a wonderfully written poem. Definitely one of my favorites that I've read on here so far.

P.s. Thank you for the review.
2/27/2007 c1 32eldrin
This is incredibly well-crafted. The tones, the line breaks, the phrases - placed exactly, smoothly. "somewhere in the dermatology of a landscape" and "promise melting down a phone line" are gorgeous. Very well-written, excellent piece.
2/27/2007 c1 136Elliptical Shapes
I like it, very nicely woven. Good imagery as well.

Keep writing,

Alan.

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