for Pills and Razor Blades3/22/2007 c3 
8Hastatus Regulus
I am enjoying this story so far; you are very good at capturing emotions in a way that does not feel contrived or fake. My biggest issue (as with many stories of this style) is too much of a focus on SI and associated symbolism and such, and not enough on the mind behind it, the situations, ect.
8Hastatus RegulusI am enjoying this story so far; you are very good at capturing emotions in a way that does not feel contrived or fake. My biggest issue (as with many stories of this style) is too much of a focus on SI and associated symbolism and such, and not enough on the mind behind it, the situations, ect.
3/21/2007 c3 8nostalgicEXPLOSION
Short, blunt, but to the point.
Your writing seems improved just a tad and it's getting better though it was already great in the beginning.
And please remember... Sh.
8nostalgicEXPLOSIONShort, blunt, but to the point.
Your writing seems improved just a tad and it's getting better though it was already great in the beginning.
And please remember... Sh.
3/20/2007 c3 6Onion Ring
This is pretty depressing subject matter... I think you need to break up the text into paragraphs so it is easier to read... and how would one pronounce Chrrisy?
6Onion RingThis is pretty depressing subject matter... I think you need to break up the text into paragraphs so it is easier to read... and how would one pronounce Chrrisy?
3/10/2007 c2 8nostalgicEXPLOSION
Lovely. I like how you ended the chapter off. It was gorgeous, just like you, Jaki!
Don't do it. [You know what I mean].
8nostalgicEXPLOSIONLovely. I like how you ended the chapter off. It was gorgeous, just like you, Jaki!
Don't do it. [You know what I mean].
3/2/2007 c1 nostalgicEXPLOSION
Numbness is the greatest feeling besides love...?
That's dark.
And the part where she says that she already has her conscience to torture her. That right there fucking hit me HARD.
Wow.
Nice.
Numbness is the greatest feeling besides love...?
That's dark.
And the part where she says that she already has her conscience to torture her. That right there fucking hit me HARD.
Wow.
Nice.
2/28/2007 c1 7xxACEXX
well i must sayy that what kind of writting i love the true deep all u can say dont hold anything backk! it was very well wriitten except u need to work on diologe(sp). for example insted of writting she said write she screemed or showtting as she sprang out of the folding chair in the kitchen nearly knocking over her coke. SEE! it makes all the differance and ur work we go from good to truly spectacular!
Valerie Paige
7xxACEXXwell i must sayy that what kind of writting i love the true deep all u can say dont hold anything backk! it was very well wriitten except u need to work on diologe(sp). for example insted of writting she said write she screemed or showtting as she sprang out of the folding chair in the kitchen nearly knocking over her coke. SEE! it makes all the differance and ur work we go from good to truly spectacular!
Valerie Paige