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8/17/2007 c4 teardropsONroses
ah! write more

write more

write more

write more

write more

write more

write more soon!

(ah, the power of copy and paste) ;-)
8/17/2007 c3 teardropsONroses
i love it! it's cool!
8/17/2007 c4 8Dancing In Magic
Its really good. But, don't use the numbers instead of words for the foreign accent thing. It kinda ruins the whole image. And try using ~*~*~*~*~*~ or sonthing instead of 0 or V it looks a little better. The story line's pretty good though, keep it up.
8/16/2007 c4 1The Other Vowel
The story is fun. You definitely need to proof read your chapters though. You have a lot of typos and such. Otherwise, I enjoy it and am definitely going to continue to read it.
8/10/2007 c2 Daray Gunda
Nicely done.

Nice to see some 1337 lol

Some very long sentences here and there, but it is no biggie.
5/3/2007 c4 RosaBree
Hey, this is really good. I hope you update soon. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
5/3/2007 c4 92q is for quirks
Again, it was pretty good. It's better with grammar than with the others. I don't think you need to put "With Monica" or "With Sergeant Kishiby" at the top of each new scene; I think you should leave it up to the details, and seeing as that's one of your talents in this story, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. :) Good story, keep it up!
5/3/2007 c3 q is for quirks
It's interesting and intriguing so far. If you can overlook the grammar issues (hey, everybody makes mistakes, so no big deal), this is really a good story. I like the characters and the setting. It could really go somewhere and turn into something much bigger than, as you said, a shameless fluff piece that is worth nothing. Good job. :)
4/28/2007 c4 Luicia and the voices
Hello! Me and the voices bid you G'day!

I'm glad your making it a full on story! ^_^ not a mindless fluff piece. ANYHOO...

"and no mater what she backed it always seemed to smell only of vanilla " did you mean...

"and no matter what she backed it always seemed to smell only of vanilla "

'matter' as in it didn't matter is spelt with two T's.

"He was cold, tires, and in pain"

VS

"He was cold, tired, and in pain"

"being told that a Mira were evil females that were the one thing that could lead to the destruction of the haven that this beautiful country had finally obtained." here you changed the tenses thingy. how bout...

"being told that Mira's were evil females that were the one thing that could lead to the destruction of the haven that this beautiful country had finally obtained."

That's all that i saw! I liked this chapter and thank you for finally updating! ^_^

hm, so now lets see who's serving the sergent! ^_^ UPDATE SOON OR THE EVIL CHIPMUNKS OF THE MOOSY FATED-NESS WILL FINISH ALL YOUR COMPUTER GAMES! RAWWRR!

Happy writing ^_^

~lu
4/1/2007 c1 Emily Kitchener
Amazing descriptions and very entrancing storyline so far. I like the abstract beginning approach, it gently leaves subtle spots for imagination; in the wee ages of the story, it has already painted a picture.
3/28/2007 c3 4RosaBree
Hey,

This chapter seemed really short, but I liked it. I think you should make it a long and deep story. There is so mush that you could do with this story right now. Keep up the good work and update soon. Thank you.
3/28/2007 c2 3ArmedDoomMuffins
Looks to me like it'll be worth continuing to read ^^. I realized though that you repeatedly said, Enimy's. Its spelled enemy. Sorry, that just bothered me.
3/28/2007 c1 4Reading W Wench
bwahahaha I can review my own story. I than k you all for your reviews! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
3/27/2007 c3 Luicia and the voices
okay. HI! and mushrooms! lol. i liked this chapter! ALOT! okay now i'm going to be nit-picky! (authors ask for this... dont hurt mee!)

'distracted by her beuty' did you mean to spell it beauty?

'Sargent Kishibi' dont you mean sergeant? or am i just crap at spelling lol

okay I'm finished! Now for the good parts!

I love this line: “Of course miss, I will be prompt.”

it really shpws us how they speak in this story! (and if the Mademoiselle didnt give me a hint XD) i'm so dumb... but i loved that line! 2 thumbs up! you have made your characters very life-like! this is so cool! please continue! (hands you a cookie and gir plushie) update soon! (holds up can of pickled fishheads) OR MY FRIENDS HERE WILL EAT YOU! !

~lu
3/7/2007 c2 3C. A. Angel
i like the concept behind this story. the first chapter was very mysterious. especially with the boy. but i think you really need to get some thoughts together.

there are some typos and words missing here and there. and remember, "there is only one period," period. haha i bet that makes no sense. but there's only one period when it deals with quotes like, "omg." she said. double periods. see? icky. X_X

im sorry if im coming off really bossy. O_O its not my intention...

its a nice idea. yeah keep rocking on, it just needs to be put through a spell checker. =]
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