6/24/2008 c8 34RhythmOfMySoul
Sorry for the uber late review. Things have been REALLY crazy the past couple of months.
Anyway, great chapter! I really loved it!
Sorry for the uber late review. Things have been REALLY crazy the past couple of months.
Anyway, great chapter! I really loved it!
4/29/2008 c8 11acatsrain
You finally updated, yeah! I love your story and still think you should get Denver to beat the crap out of Jack.
But on a farther note. Your writings fine but I think maybe, I'm just guessing here, that you write in a hurry and therefore forget your periods. Remember those, they feel left out.
And finally... how longs your story going to be? Update soon (well don't actually because I have to finish my entire story for a visual for a presentation I have on the 14th of next month. I am so dead).
You finally updated, yeah! I love your story and still think you should get Denver to beat the crap out of Jack.
But on a farther note. Your writings fine but I think maybe, I'm just guessing here, that you write in a hurry and therefore forget your periods. Remember those, they feel left out.
And finally... how longs your story going to be? Update soon (well don't actually because I have to finish my entire story for a visual for a presentation I have on the 14th of next month. I am so dead).
4/29/2008 c8 7Heather Ashley
Oh I just finished reading and I LOVE IT! I cannot wait for more chapters. Man, this is a really good story and man, I want more! :)
Oh I just finished reading and I LOVE IT! I cannot wait for more chapters. Man, this is a really good story and man, I want more! :)
4/9/2008 c7 11acatsrain
Your stories really good. Ever wonder if maybe you should put a part in were Jack (McCarthy) and Denver actually meet? Okay maybe I'm just the one wondering that... update soon. I need some more reasons to avoid writing my own in-dire-need-of-an-update fic.
Your stories really good. Ever wonder if maybe you should put a part in were Jack (McCarthy) and Denver actually meet? Okay maybe I'm just the one wondering that... update soon. I need some more reasons to avoid writing my own in-dire-need-of-an-update fic.
2/7/2008 c7 34RhythmOfMySoul
I absolutely loved this chapter. It was very well written, sorry it took me so long to review, I had to get back into the swing of the story (by re-reading it).
Anyway great chapter! I can't wait for more!
I absolutely loved this chapter. It was very well written, sorry it took me so long to review, I had to get back into the swing of the story (by re-reading it).
Anyway great chapter! I can't wait for more!
1/29/2008 c7 sara
wow, Maddy's character is absolutely pathetic in this chapter. You wanted her to be strong and independent right? Because this chapter just destroy's all those views. It shows that Maddy is weak and theres nothing special about her. Her 'tortured' past is one thing, but you mention it about ten times. And I felt that things with her and Denver progressed way too fast. I'm assuming its the beginning of the school year right? If she doesn't even trust Cammie, why would she tell all that to Denver. It just feels too choppy and there is no logical progression of ideas. There are countless spelling and grammar errors, and their is not enough description. You're previous chapter were mediocre, decent enough, but this really kills you're story. Dear, you're not supposed to force out writing it's supposed to flow out. I would definately consider a serious revision, not only on grammar and description but also Character Development and Dialouge ( you really need to work on those two.) Reconsider this piece of work and take it back to the drawing board.
-sara
wow, Maddy's character is absolutely pathetic in this chapter. You wanted her to be strong and independent right? Because this chapter just destroy's all those views. It shows that Maddy is weak and theres nothing special about her. Her 'tortured' past is one thing, but you mention it about ten times. And I felt that things with her and Denver progressed way too fast. I'm assuming its the beginning of the school year right? If she doesn't even trust Cammie, why would she tell all that to Denver. It just feels too choppy and there is no logical progression of ideas. There are countless spelling and grammar errors, and their is not enough description. You're previous chapter were mediocre, decent enough, but this really kills you're story. Dear, you're not supposed to force out writing it's supposed to flow out. I would definately consider a serious revision, not only on grammar and description but also Character Development and Dialouge ( you really need to work on those two.) Reconsider this piece of work and take it back to the drawing board.
-sara
1/22/2008 c7 6Sophelia
ah, don't feel bad. this was a pretty intense chapter - you managed to get a lot of emotion packed in this chapter. the insults between maddie and denver were pretty clever; liked the "agony aunt" - that was hilarious. =]
well, it takes time to find inspiration, so don't feel bad. and i wasn't kidding when i said it's fun reading your stories. you've got maddie, who's a hot-headed but very likeable character - there is so much you can do with a character like her. so don't feel pressured about updating - just write when it makes you happy =]
ah, don't feel bad. this was a pretty intense chapter - you managed to get a lot of emotion packed in this chapter. the insults between maddie and denver were pretty clever; liked the "agony aunt" - that was hilarious. =]
well, it takes time to find inspiration, so don't feel bad. and i wasn't kidding when i said it's fun reading your stories. you've got maddie, who's a hot-headed but very likeable character - there is so much you can do with a character like her. so don't feel pressured about updating - just write when it makes you happy =]
8/5/2007 c6 34RhythmOfMySoul
Wow. Powerful. This chapter kept my eyes glued to the screen. I didn't even blink for the whole time I read it. My contacts started shifting and everything.
GREAT STORY! I can't wait to read more of it!
Wow. Powerful. This chapter kept my eyes glued to the screen. I didn't even blink for the whole time I read it. My contacts started shifting and everything.
GREAT STORY! I can't wait to read more of it!
8/5/2007 c5 RhythmOfMySoul
Aw! Poor Maddie. Yeah, Denver is an ass.
Great chapter! I really like your portrayal of Maddie's character. And even Denver.
Aw! Poor Maddie. Yeah, Denver is an ass.
Great chapter! I really like your portrayal of Maddie's character. And even Denver.
8/5/2007 c3 RhythmOfMySoul
Again, GREATNESS! I hate all the lying, but hey that's life. I just hope it doesn't end up kicking her in the ass later in the story.
Again, GREATNESS! I hate all the lying, but hey that's life. I just hope it doesn't end up kicking her in the ass later in the story.
8/5/2007 c2 RhythmOfMySoul
"“I never said I didn't. I agree with you its the best way to be”" AMEN and Hallelujah! Single and ready to Mingle is the best way to be!
"“Because I get the best of both worlds”" Oh shoot. That's hilarious!
Heh, great chapter! I love the lengths of your chapters. Greatness
"“I never said I didn't. I agree with you its the best way to be”" AMEN and Hallelujah! Single and ready to Mingle is the best way to be!
"“Because I get the best of both worlds”" Oh shoot. That's hilarious!
Heh, great chapter! I love the lengths of your chapters. Greatness
8/5/2007 c1 RhythmOfMySoul
GREAT first chapter! I loved everything about it! you wrote it very well! Good job!
GREAT first chapter! I loved everything about it! you wrote it very well! Good job!
7/22/2007 c6 5Universal Completion
i think that the name Denver sounds cool to, so your not the only one! i love maddies character(she is so much like me..lol) but i have to say i love Denver just a little bit more. denver to me, seems more mysterious then the image he putS on. i could be wronge but he just seem like, more then a sexy, arrogant, playboy. i know that some people think that Denver is such an ass to maddie, but thats how boys are, and if you ask me he deals with his anger a lot better then most boys would have. i cant wait to see what happen later on in the story. i think denver and maddie would be great together. By the way i dont know if i said this yet but, I FREAKIN LOVE THIS STORY...LOL
i think that the name Denver sounds cool to, so your not the only one! i love maddies character(she is so much like me..lol) but i have to say i love Denver just a little bit more. denver to me, seems more mysterious then the image he putS on. i could be wronge but he just seem like, more then a sexy, arrogant, playboy. i know that some people think that Denver is such an ass to maddie, but thats how boys are, and if you ask me he deals with his anger a lot better then most boys would have. i cant wait to see what happen later on in the story. i think denver and maddie would be great together. By the way i dont know if i said this yet but, I FREAKIN LOVE THIS STORY...LOL
7/22/2007 c6 6Sophelia
You don't need to be embarassed. =] it takes practice before things start flowing smoothly. i agree with you though; i was particularly interested in this story because i found maddie's personality really interesting and fun to read. i'm glad you revealed maddie's past with this chapter, and hopefully your interest in this story will continue =] keep it up!
You don't need to be embarassed. =] it takes practice before things start flowing smoothly. i agree with you though; i was particularly interested in this story because i found maddie's personality really interesting and fun to read. i'm glad you revealed maddie's past with this chapter, and hopefully your interest in this story will continue =] keep it up!