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for Bus Boy

10/19/2007 c1 hipgurl
omg what a coincidance. my name is sam and i like a guy named cam.. lol.

very good story i also take the bus with a sam. i heart this story
10/18/2007 c18 4sofizza
Chapter 18 ended in the best way a chapter could possibly end. I had a giggling spasm. If it was me, I would have dropped the book on his foot and watch him writhe in pain. Then again, I don't fancy him. He does sound hot though.
10/18/2007 c18 1Airily
Has anyone told you how incredibly cute your story is?

It's not just the plot. It's your style - simple, but effective. I really like the way you're able to do things a story should - characterise and convey emotions - in only a few short words. It's also incredibly easy to read - you don't overwrite things or blab on about trivial details.

There are two problems with such a simplistic style, though. Firstly, you run the risk of not having enough detail. I'm happy with the amount of detail you've got, but sometimes I have to re-read a section before I understand what's happening. Secondly, although you've effectively illustrated your characters - I can really imagine them as people - you run the risk of lacking depth. It's still early on in your story (I'd assume) but, although I love the little quirks you've shown, Cam still seems to be stuck in this image of "hot new student", and Pen, "spunky geek-girl". There hasn't been much development, though maybe this has been deliberate. If not, I'd also suggest to look out for cliches - like Samantha.

Anyway, you're story really is quite adorable. Keep up the good work - I look forward to reading more.
9/21/2007 c17 5Fin of Tsuki
Wow, I love it! It has everything a good story should have drama, romance, and humor. Awsome job!
9/21/2007 c1 3emotionless-stares
lol that's cute
8/9/2007 c16 15BlackTiger69
ohh! he playing on d piano?hehe.. damn
8/9/2007 c8 BlackTiger69
'a bitch'

hahha! right on gurl!

aw.. cam shud be wd pen..hehe
8/9/2007 c3 BlackTiger69
so m guessing cam has a little thing for pen?lol;p
8/9/2007 c1 BlackTiger69
aww! damn! love the beginning! its short, but totally sweet:):)
8/7/2007 c15 Weirderest
O, I love this.

Its so different and brilliant! :)
8/7/2007 c1 5red-cowboy-boots
cute! I was totally sucked in to the rest of the story :). Feel free to R&R any of my stories. RCB x
6/26/2007 c15 elle winters 9
aw so cute!
6/3/2007 c14 cuteness
aw she didint go..

hehhe jeremy is so cute.. sigh* so is cam (as in camera?) hehe
5/30/2007 c13 1The baava Project
Hehehe, cute. Gem is really growing on me, and it's great to see Pen breaking the surface with her last comment. It's the quiet ones we have to watch out for! (grin)

Pointless review over. Just wanted to let you know I was here and reading.

~ baava
5/28/2007 c13 Black And Silver Stars
meh. still good but a bit short so update soon. It'd be nice if she went too.
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