for The Blue Mist Chronicles: Light and Fire3/15/2007 c1 
13Chino Raven Star
Fred Domerson couldn't shot eye beams and the war only lasted six years but good anyways
13Chino Raven StarFred Domerson couldn't shot eye beams and the war only lasted six years but good anyways
3/14/2007 c2 3Virage
Well that was an interesting story. The narrator and the characters really feel like middle school/early high school personalities, so it might be a touch below my curiosity threshhold. The characters just seem too...something, for my taste. But I love the plot and story ideas. And I will say the way the characters are shown are true to their personality. I can really get the feel for who they are with they way the dress, react to situations, and asnwer each other. They seem like two brothers who act in an almost slapstick kinda way. The girls that were introduced are also pretty interesting, but they don't seem terribly different in terms of characterization. I noticed alot of the speech patterns are pretty much the same for all the characters. They all use similiar idiosyncrasies. I just didn't get the feel like they were totally different. But the setting and plot is good. The descriptions were bulky in some places, like the way you tried to describe clothes. Other than that, I think the story sounds interesting. I'm wondering what kind of plot will be established though, will there be fighting or is this more of a romance comedy? I think the story has potential to become anything, so I couldn't even put a finger on what it is. I hope it something cool and action packed though.
3VirageWell that was an interesting story. The narrator and the characters really feel like middle school/early high school personalities, so it might be a touch below my curiosity threshhold. The characters just seem too...something, for my taste. But I love the plot and story ideas. And I will say the way the characters are shown are true to their personality. I can really get the feel for who they are with they way the dress, react to situations, and asnwer each other. They seem like two brothers who act in an almost slapstick kinda way. The girls that were introduced are also pretty interesting, but they don't seem terribly different in terms of characterization. I noticed alot of the speech patterns are pretty much the same for all the characters. They all use similiar idiosyncrasies. I just didn't get the feel like they were totally different. But the setting and plot is good. The descriptions were bulky in some places, like the way you tried to describe clothes. Other than that, I think the story sounds interesting. I'm wondering what kind of plot will be established though, will there be fighting or is this more of a romance comedy? I think the story has potential to become anything, so I couldn't even put a finger on what it is. I hope it something cool and action packed though.
3/9/2007 c1 Virage
Interesting prologue, I'd like to read more when I get a chance. The Kudrinskaya incident was really cool and specific to the point of being interesting. I almost hope it comes up later in the story.
Interesting prologue, I'd like to read more when I get a chance. The Kudrinskaya incident was really cool and specific to the point of being interesting. I almost hope it comes up later in the story.