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for A Few More Miles

8/22/2007 c1 jm
i love it! its written beautifully and the main character being this brooding dark complex person only for him and u to discover hes not as fucked as he thinks in a short story is awesome :)
7/30/2007 c1 poison-girl
i love this story. the main character is so allusive its intriguing and the last line the way it goes back on everything already said its perfect. i am envious that i can't write anything as good as this. well done
7/18/2007 c1 1kissme.now
what the hell are you talking about? This story is absolutely perfect, I'm glad I clicked on it and took the time to read :). The characters are greatly written, realistic and complex. Not to mention the beautiful ending.

Stories like these remind me why you are one of my favorite writers :)
5/25/2007 c1 Her Wishing Well
I think this is reqally good, the characters were developed fine. I like the setting within this.
5/22/2007 c1 exclamatorypoint
He shrugged. "You're right. But you should know; this world is fucked."

"The world's beautiful." she said so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. She wouldn’t look at him. "And you're too busy hiding behind that cigarette to see."

-I love this part. :D

Perfect ending. :)
4/24/2007 c1 MKREE

You did a good job on this story. The first half seemed to skip around a lot. I had a bit of trouble knowing what was in the present and what was in the past.

Amy was a very minor character, only mentioned a handful of times and yet she was the key to the whole story. You did very well with that!

His perspective change was almost unblievable,stretched a bit too much, but, when I reconsider... he didn't make a 360 turn around, he wasn't instantly "cured" but something in him definately shifted...

You mentioned feeling like the story was incomplete. I was satisfied with it. Your ending line was exquisite! Perfectly melancholy but hopeful and thought provoking!
4/20/2007 c1 hi
I liked this story. It's cute :]

There is a better meaning to life though.

Hmm.. so are you going to finish Jacked?
4/19/2007 c1 Hyperroll
I really don't know how to explain how this story affected me. At times, I chuckled, at others, I didn't. It was kind of sad, but not really.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading it. It leaves me with a weird sensation. I feel wistful... but not really.

I thought that the beginning and the end were well-written. I thought everything was well-written, but I thought it was very interesting how you incorporated how he laughs sometimes. The first time it's stated in third person, and the second time it's in first. That was very creative, I feel. But I don't quite understand it. So, this was kind of amazing in a way that doesn't really make sense to me. Maybe that's partically why I like it as much as I do.

4/14/2007 c1 18newfoundhope
You know what? I love this. I'm usually dying to know what happens to the characters and how their story ends, but not this time. I think the length of the story is perfect. I can't really describe my reaction to the story; it's nice to detach myself from the story and contemplate on my own life. Hopefully you get the gist of what I'm saying. :] Well done. Adding to my favorites list.
4/5/2007 c1 20Zhenny
Wow, all those names and situations sounded eerily familiar to some people I know... That was a good story. It was great, actually. x3
3/31/2007 c1 Kjersti
This was really good. And don't worry about underdeveloped characters - you don't have much time for that stuff in short stories. That's why they're *short*.

Great story anyway. I loved the way you wrote the main character. And the ending was really nice. :)
3/23/2007 c1 Charity F

You seem to be able to find something wrong about everything in your story, and you’re not even stopping to look on the brighter side. Harhar, aren’t I funny.

Anyway, I just this is awesome. A good length, and I think you’ve developed the character enough for a short story. Characters, should I say. We don’t want to know too much about each of them, because then the story would go on forever, but you’ve told us enough about them to get an idea of where everyone’s coming from, and I like that.

I like the ending, I think if you kept going, you might end up making the story sound a little too long winded. It seems right, to end it there. Really.

Anyway, I thought this one was great. And it’s good to read a short story from you. You seem like someone who can write anything.

Keep it up!

3/23/2007 c1 RedBerries
I like it. I guess if you wanted to make it shorter then you could have cut out the whole part of finding Molly at the car and all the description of her, but apart from that, it reads well.
3/20/2007 c1 Erin
I liked the story but ur right i think its a lil incomplete but other then that i thought it was pretty good. good job! :]
3/13/2007 c1 Change of Dose
I really liked this. It was different from other stories that I've read.I was so into it that I didn't even notice that he didn't say his name until Amy asked him what it was. The title worked wonderfully with the story and the whole contemplative mood this was written in worked well, too. The only thing that was wrong were some grammer mistakes. Other than that, this was a great one-shot. I hope you write more stuff soon. And I have some protective parents too so I can feel where Amy is coming from. But I also have a lot of friends whose parents don't really care what they do and I can understand Jack's feelings too.
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